past, present and future
by cvety
Summary: How can some stupid things from school screw up your life in that way? Will the team find Tony in time, or it'll be too late?
1. Chapter 1

**Ok, this one came into my head while I was swimming...this is only introduction so if you like it please tell me, otherwise I won't continue it. **

**English isn't my first language and it's really far away from perfect so please don't get angry with me because of my mistakes, I really try to write in a right way, but it's not so easy.**

**I don't own any of the characters in this story**

**xxx**

_**So it began**_

"I want to open my eyes…but I can't. _"What's going on?"_ but no sound came out my mouth. _"It hurts" _I tried to say, but one more time – nothing. Ok, I should stand up and try to find Gibbs he probably knows something. I can't move - why? My arm hurts me a lot. Why I can't remember? Maybe I'm drunk. Yeah that is. Stupid alcohol I won't drink anymore…Oh, damn it, I must have broken my arm, otherwise it wouldn't be so painful"

_"Welcome to the hell, Anthony" _Tony heardrude, frightful voice

_"Who are you?" _– no words _"_But why I can't speak?"

_"Oh, sorry I miss to tell you to not try to move, or speak, or whatever else you have in mind. You're…let's just say a little bit paralyzed…But don't worry, it is temporarily _

"I know this voice…but from where? Wait, didn't he said paralyzed? Bastard, whoever he is, I'll kill him."

_"Oh Anthony, if you only knew how long I've been waiting for this moment. I'm done with your friends now and you're my dessert, very sweet one"_

"My friends? Is he telling me he has hurt Gibbs and Ziva and Probie…No, I don't believe him

_"W…what?" _ Tony finally managed to ask

_"You can't recognize me, can you? Oh Anthony I forgive you, don't worry. There has been a lot of time, you probably don't know anything about me…But I know so much about you dear friend"_

"This stupid arm, I have to touch it, there can be a wound…But what is this strange shape? Wait a minute, it is familiar to me – a circle…separated circle, in each half there is a little one…damn, this is yin and yang symbol. He has cut it in my arm. Now I'm getting scared. Who the hell this crazy man is?"

_"W…who…are…you?"_

_ "Can't you remember Anthony? I'm the one whose life was ruined, by you and your little group…in the high school Anthony. You used to bully me"_

"Yeah, but who exactly are you? I used to bully a lot of losers"

_"Don't … remember"_

_ "BUT YOU HAVE TO! Do you remember when you caught one boy, from you class, tiny, skinny, with glasses and then made him go with you in his home. You took off his clothes, painted this symbol on him, tied him to his bed and left him alone…this kid was me Anthony. I'm Morris whose life you ruined…And Anthony, you'll be suffering more than me…you will go through the hell and then you'll be begging me to kill you…"_


	2. Chapter 2

**_Ok, I'm getting more cruel, but I'm in terrible mood and I can't think out anything possitive_**

_**What did I do**__**?**_

***High school***

"_Wow, Mike, see, isn't this your little Kelly?" _ 17 years old Tony asked

_"Shut up Tony, you'll find someone special one day"_

_ "Mike and Kelly, Mike and Kelly, Mike and … wait, look, this is Morris"_

_ "Hey guys, I have an idea" _other boy named Josh said

_"What's up in your mind?"_

_ "You remember that film we watched last week?"_

_ "You're a genius Joshy"_

_"I don't know boys"_ tall boy named Chris added _"If someone understand..."_

_"Oh come on, it'll be funny"_

_Xxx_

_** ***Present…In NCIS**__*******_

_"McGee, not so much glue" _Ziva and McGee were trying to make a trap for Tony

_"Hey, let me do my part of the work and I'll let you do your"_

_ "McGee, where's your report?" _Gibbs yelled

_"On it's way boss"_

_ "Dinozzo…wait, where is Tony?"_

_ "He went to take some coffee boss"_

_ "Yeah McGee I remember. Despite of the fact this was 3 hours ago"_

_ "No Gibbs, I swear it was just before…Oh my God, you're right"_

_"If you two hadn't been so busy making this…trap you could have noticed that!"_

_ "McGee call him" _Ziva said

_"No answer boss" _Gibbs stared at him _"I'm trying again"_

Xxx

_"Are you hungry Anthony? I guess you are…mmm, smell that pizza, it's with pepperoni, extra cheese and…Oh, don't be so disappointed, if you're a good boy you'll have a small piece of it"_

_ "NEVER" _Tony yelled. He was tied to a pipe to the wall, with swollen eyes and blood all over his face

_"Oh Anthony, be a good boy. Or you want more drugs?"_

_ "No" _he whispered

_"No what?"_

_ "No…sir"_

_ "You see, it's not so hard"_

_ "Why…why are you doing this?" _

_ "You really don't know what happened when you left, do you? Didn't you ask yourself why I didn't come to school long time after…after that day? Or you didn't notice my absence?"_

_ "I'm so sorry Morris, we were just kids…"_

_ "Kids? Yeah, we were. I was…until that day. You know what my father did to me when he saw me laying on his bed, stripped? He rapped me Anthony, then every time I refused to do what he wanted me to do with him he beat me and then rapped me again. Then one day I just killed him. Do you know what the aftermath was? I spent 10 years in prison, rapped by other disgusting men…This is what you did to me"_

_Xxx_

_ "What's going on agent Gibbs?" _director Vance asked

_"We can't connect with agent Dinozzo"_

_ "When was the last time you saw him?_

_ "6 hours ago, he said he was going to take some coffee"_

_ "Did you try to track down his phone?"_

_ "Yeah, without a result"_

_ "Damn it. Ok Gibbs, I'll make everybody in this office to help you finding Tony"_

_ "Thank you director"_

Xxx

_"McGee, McGee, McGee" _it was Abby _"I heard about missing agent. Who is he McGee?" _she stared at the agent _"Tell me it's not Gibbs"_

_ "Calm down Abby. It's not Gibbs"_

_ "Jesus, I'm so glad. But then, who is he? Wait, McGee, where's Tony?"_

_ "Abs…"_

_ "No…don't tell me this" _her eyes were full of tears

"_I wish I could"_

"_Find him!" _she yelled

"_We will Abs, I promise"_ it was Gibbs, just beside her. He made one step and hugged his favorite scientist

"_You can't let him die Gibbs"_ she sobbed and then disappeared in the elevator

_"Tell me something" _he barked

_"We have next to nothing boss. Damn, we don't know anything, but the time is ticking" _McGee hit the bin next to him

_"Hey, Tim!" _Gibbs put his hands on McGees' shoulders _"we…will…find…him. Understood?"_

_ "Yeah boss"_

_ "Good. Now, go to the cafe and see if someone heard or saw anything"_

_Xxx_

***High school***

_ "Hahaha, it's funnier than I though it would be"_

_ "I told you Chris. But you were afraid of the aftermaths. He won't tell anyone, will you?"_

_ "Come on boys, I haven't done anything against you" _Morris was crying

_"Tony, you heard that? I think he is…crying"_

_ "You're a big baby Morris. I swear if you don't stop crying I'll tattoo this symbol on you arm"_

Bur Morris didn't stop and Tony kept his promise

_"Hey Chris, why don't you tie this loser here? I wish we could see his parents' reaction _

_ "No, boys, it's not funny any more. You know my father will kill me"_

_ "Oh, little Morris will be killed" _Tony was making fun and strange grimace was on his face, just like he is hung

_"Come on guys, let's go out of here_"

***Present***

Tony suddenly woke up, scared. His kidnapper was gone and now the agent was alone. "What did I do?" he though "Oh my God, what did we do? It wasn't supposed to end in that way"

_"Well, well, well, see who is here. Really Anthony, you look like a baby while you're sleeping"_

"Why am I shaking? God, every part of my body hurts. I'm so thirsty, starving"

_"Can…can I drink some water…please?"_

_ "Oh, how stupid I am. I completely forgot that people need water. Wait a minute Anthony, you forgot about that too. Do you know how thirsty I was when my father found me that day? But I won't be so cruel, you can drink…wait, wait, there is something"_

_"What?"_

_"I need you to do something for me"_

_ "I'll…I'll do everything"_

_ "You really mean that?"_

_ "Yeah"_

_ "Ok" _ Morris brought a glass of water _"But when you drink this you'll be supposed to do whatever I want, deal?"_

_ "Deal" _and Tony drank the water


	3. Chapter 3

**_Hey again :) I'm looking for a beta reader now, so the next chapter will be posted in few days. And please, please - review :)_**

**Is it late?**

Tony was lying on the dirty, wet floor, tied to the pipe like he was a dog, hungry. There had been gone one more day, without any sign that the things can end good. But the worst thing wasn't his physical condition, yeah it was bad, but he was loosing any hope. All he wanted was to fall asleep – forever

_"Are you hungry, Anthony?"_

_ "No" _he was, but there was no way for him to sell his soul one more time. Not this time, not for food.

_"As you wish, I can wait. We have plenty of time…Oh, does this hurts?" _He put his fingers on Tonys' arm and pressed his tattoo

_"BASTARD" _The agent managed to yell

_"Yeah, your school friends said the same"_

Then Tony realized he had forgotten about what Morris had said.

_"What have you done with them?"_

_ "Oh don't worry, they suffered only tiny minority of your pain…Hahaha…"_

_ "You'll pay for that, Morris. I'll be the one who'll kill you, before the death penalty"_

Morris took out a syringe with some kind of drug…after a while everything was black, painful.

Xxx

_"How could this happen, Ducky?"_ Gibbs and Ducky were sitting in the autopsy room and for the first time since this had happened the agent was showing his emotions

_"You will find him, Jethro"_

_ "How?...We don't even know who the kidnapper is, or who he could be"_

But they were disturbed by the phone

_"Gibbs!…What? McGee, slow down. I'm coming._

_ "What's going on, Jethro?"_

_ "McGee said they had found something"_

Xxx

_"McGee, speak!" _Gibbs barked

_"Gibbs, we were trying to find Tonys' friends from high school and look what we found" _Ziva took the remote control and pressed one button _"Mike Johnson – killed 3 months ago, killer – unknown. Josh Newton - killed 2 months ago, killer – unknown. Chris Smith – killed 1 month ago, killer – unknown. And it's getting funnier, Gibbs. They all have this strange symbol on their arms"_

_ "It's yin and yang, Ziva" _McGee added

_"Yeah, whatever"_

_ "And no one has seen that connection? Unbelievable"_

_ "They lived in different cities and n…"_ she stopped when she saw Gibbs' look

_ "Find who can have an edge on them!"_

_ "Already done, boss"_

_ "And?" _Gibbs was more impatient than usually

_"Well…it looks like this group used to bully lots teenagers"_

_ "Is this the dark site of Anthony Dinozzo?" _Ziva could not believe

_"I need names, McGee"_

_ "Top three in my list are Smithy Rush, Morris Clark and Charles Stone"_

_ "Bring them here!"_

_Xxx_

_ "What are you thinking__ about, McGee?'_

_ "Nothing…how do you know I'm thinking? _They both were on their way to Smithies' house

_"Well, this is the first time you aren't complaining of my driving and…"_

_ "We…we didn't even noticed, Ziva" _he finally managed to say this words, so simple but so true

_"We couldn't have done anything, McGee"_

_ "What if we could? What if…if it is too l…"_

_ "Don't…say…that__"_

_ "Look, isn't this our Smithy?"_

_ "Yeah, I think you're right"_

_Xxx_

"Hell, why's so cold in here? Am…am I dying? God, I hope I'm dying, please…please…I'm so sorry, please take me out of here, I just want to die, please" Tony was sitting on the floor, his knees on his chest, crying, hopeless. The darkness was so depressive, he didn't know how much time he had been in this place, maybe hours or days or even months

_"Please kill me" _Tony whispered. Wide smile was written on Morris' face

_"Oh, no, Anthony. You will die, but I won't help you. If you don't want to die from hunger you know what you have to do"_

_ "No…way" _But the agent was getting weaker and he knew that

Xxx

_"Listen, Smithy, I don't have time, so just tell me what you know" _Gibbs was interrogating him

_"I've already told you, agent Gibbs. This was in the past, yeah they made my life like a hell, but now I have good work, lovely wife, 3 kids. Why would I ruin everything?"_

_ "Do you have an alibi? Where were you on 14__th__ of March, 14__th__ of April, 14__th__ of May and 14__th__ of June? And why this number – 14?"_

_ "I..I don't remember about March, but the whole April me and my family were in German. You can check this. Look this picture – it is taken on 14-th May, my sons' birthday…and before 3 days I was in L.A, business meeting – check!"_

_ "Oh, I will"_

_Xxx_

_ "Boss, his alibi is confirmed"_

_ "Damn it..Ok, did you find Morris and Charles?_

_ "Charles committed suicide 6 years ago. And nobody has seen Morris since Monday…"_

_ "When Dinozzo was kidnapped"_

_ "I think he is our kill…kidnapper" _he really didn't want to use the word "killer". Not in this case, not this time…


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi there :) I hope you'd like this chapter**

**A huge thank you to my beta reader, Samantha V , who helped me so much :)**

**Again, I owe nothing so please don't sue me xD**

**Am I alive?**

Tony was shaking, it was cold, dark and what's more, he was alone. Morris had left the room and now the agent was completely alone, starving, thirsty, but he could feel the faint hint of a breeze cooling his fevered skin Opening his eyes he saw that the only window was open. Tightening abused muscles, he tried to move and reach this window – it was impossible. He was tied, weak…and he could feel the cold air as well as he could feel death. "Please, take me with you" he begged when he saw the dark, draped figure with no face only a mask…he closed his eyes again.

Xxx

"Gibbs, a woman called the police 6 hours ago with a tip and they've just called us. She claimed she had seen a man with Morris' description, dragging a bag - a huge bag. She thought there was a body in it."

"Where?"

"16th street Northwest, some kind of storehouse."

"Call all the other units."

"On their way, boss."

_Xxx_

_ "Tony?"_

"Kate?...Am I dead?"yet hopeful he was dead, found peace.

_"What are you doing here, Tony?" _she asked.

"Oh, I just came by to visit you and…"

_ "Dinozzo, this isn't funny."_

"I know…I gave up, Kate. It seems we'll be together, forever."

_ "Oh, no, no, no. Don't say that. Me and you – forever? Do you know how long that is?"_

"No idea"

_ "Tony, you aren't supposed to come here so early. Go back."_

"No, I won't. I…he…he'd kill me anyway. I'm staying."

Xxx

"What's the situation, Sergeant Parker?"

"We've found Morris' mini van, but there's no trace of him. "

"Ok, Ziva, McGee – take the back door, me and the Sergeant are taking front…One, two, three" they were in. One huge, cold, dank room, darkened shadows and corners hid more than they showed.

"TONY?" McGee yelled. But there was no answer.

"ANTHONY?" Ducky was there too.

And then they saw his lifeless body, tied to a pipe, covered in his own blood.

"Dinozzo!" Gibbs ran across the whole room "Come on, Tony, you can't die…Ducky…"

Rushing forward Ducky did a quick check to find Tony was barely breathing. Gently but firmly he ordered that McGee and Ziva untied his hands and lay his body on the floor. Taking out his kit he did all that he could to help his friend.

"Wake up, Tony, please." Ziva whispered. After a few seconds, four paramedics came in and made the team draw back…then they were on their way to the hospital, Tony was still unconscious.

xxx

_ "Tony, you have to go" _It was Kate.

"No, Kate. I don't want to go back."

_ "You should."_

_ "_But you didn't, did you?"

_ "You think I didn't want to, Dinozzo? You think I wanted to die?"_

"No, Kate…I'm sorry."

_ "It's not your fault, Tony."_

"I was supposed to take care of you. That's what senior field agents usually do."

_ "You can't save everyone"_

"No…"

_ "Tony, look - Gibbs, McGee, Ziva, Ducky, Abby – they all care about you, you hear them?"_

"No"

_ "You're not a good liar"_

_Xxx_

"Tony heart's stopped" a nurse yelled

"28… 29… 30 breathe…28…29…30… breathe. Come on young man…28…29...30 breathe…"

_Xxx_

_ "Dinozzo, go! That's and order!"_

"I don't have to take orders from you. I'm staying!"

_ "Don't hurt them as I did, Tony. It's not your time – go back!"_

_Xxx_

The sporadic beeping from the monitor that was getting increasingly regular made everyone take a deep breath.

"_You did good, __Tony.__" Kate smiled relieved _

_Xxx_

In spite of the fact that the whole team was sitting in the waiting room, it was silent. No one could speak, shocked at the way they had found their friend. After some time that felt like it had been ages, the doctor came to speak with them

"How is he?"Abby asked first.

"His heart stopped for a while but he is currently stable. I'm really pleased that I found no pneumonia. I'm aware that he had a case of the plague a few years ago and due to his ordeal his lungs are weak and it could be deadly for him to have pneumonia again. Otherwise, he is really dehydrated, has a number of cuts and bruises, but nothing serious It seems he wasn't given anything to eat. We will have to monitor him closely but, barring complications we should hopefully expect a complete recovery. This poor boy is really strong to have survived, agent Gibbs, be proud of him."

"Yeah, I am. We want to see him, doctor." Gibbs didn't care if he was allowed or not, he just wanted to be with his senior field agent.

"Ok, no problem, you can stay with him. It'll be good to see you when he wakes up. He was intubated, just in case. We'll remove the tube as soon as he regains consciousness.

"Jethro, did someone call Anthony Dinozzo Senior?" Ducky had realized the oversight but had decided to wait before he said anything.

"No…but I don't think Tony wants…"

"Doesn't matter now, he is still his father. You should call him, Jethro."

"Ok, I will, but first I want to see Tony."

_Xxx_

"Hey, Tony, can you hear me?" It was Abby "I…I just want to tell you you're safe now, we have your six. So don't worry, we're here and won't go anywhere." Tears were falling from her eyes. "He looks so weak, Gibbs" she sobbed.

"Abs, come on, we should go, we aren't allowed to stay, only Gibbs and Ducky can. We'll be waiting outside, boss." McGee gently took Abby's elbow and guided her to the door.

Xxx

"Hey, Dinozzo, you deserve thousands of head slaps, you know that? And if you give up one more time I promise to you I'll slapping you from here to your home" Gibbs and Ducky were sitting around Tonys' bed with eyes full of worry.

"Jethro, I know you don't want to, but it's time to call his father."

"Ok, Ducky, you win."

Xxx

Gibbs took out his phone and dialed, patiently waiting for his call to be answered.

"_Hello"_

"Hi, Mr. Dinozzo."

"_Agent Gibbs, what can I do for you?"_

"I…I have to tell you that Tony was kidnapped…but he is safe now"

"_Oh…I didn't expected to hear that… How is he doing?" Senior was too calm for somebody who had just received that kind of news_

"Honestly, I don't know. His doctor claims his life isn't in danger, in spite of all the injuries he has… but I don't know anything about his mental condition.

"_Why? What are you hiding, agent Gibbs?"_

"I think he… he gave up. If we weren't there in time, he might have died."

"_But Dinozzos don't give up."_

"Yeah, I know that…When can you get here?"

"_Well, I don't think he wants to see me, especially after our last conversation."_

"What? I thought you two are in a good relationship now."

"_It's a long story, agent Gibbs."_

"Ok, but I still think you should come."

"_I will…maybe in 2 or 3 days. I can't catch the first flight, but I will come, I promise."_ Gibbs could hear the hesitation in his words

"If he's released by then, he'll be staying at my place, so you can go there."

"_See you soon, agent Gibbs"_ and he hung up.

"I hope to see you soon." His tone was optimistic, but in his head he doubted about Senior's arrival

**Please, please, please - review...and tell me if you want Dinozzo Senior to be good or bad character :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Ok, there's the next chapter, I hope you'd like it.**

**I don't own any ot the characters here :)**

**Again, huge thank you to my Beta _Samantha V_**

Put on your mask

Everyone was sleeping. Ziva, McGee and Abby had fallen asleep in the waiting room; they all were exhausted as they hadn't slept for ages. Ducky was in a chair near Tony as he had refused to go home. He was pretending that he needed to stay because Tony would need him, but the truth was he loved that boy like his own son, just as Gibbs did. On the other side of the bed, Gibbs was holding Tony's hand and dozing, waiting for any sign of regaining consciousness of his senior field agent… And there, after almost 4 hours, Tony moved his hand. One barely perceptible movement, but it was good sign. His eyes were still closed, but Gibbs knew what that motion meant.

"Tony, can you hear me?" Gibbs asked hopefully.

Ducky woke up when he heard those words, all fog of sleep disappearing as he saw the repeated slow twitches of Tony's fingers.

"Anthony dear boy, we're here. "

"Ducky, call the others, please, Tony needs all of us."

He didn't need to be asked a second time. After a few minutes Ducky came back, followed by the rest of the team.

"Welcome back, sweety."Abby squealed when she saw Tony's green eyes. Though open, they were frightened, confused, and Gibbs noticed that.

"Hey, relax!"he said when he saw Tony's pulse was rising.

"Do you know where you are?" Ducky asked firmly. Tony nodded. _"_Timothy, call the doctor, please. He promised to remove that thing from you, Anthony. Just don't move few more minutes"Ducky knew how much Tony hated the damn tube.

A small tear cropped from Tonys' eye, then one more, third. He couldn't stopped them. This was the first time in his life he wasn't able to control his feelings. Maybe the reason were the painkillers, or the fact he wasn't regain consciousness at 100% or he just needed to let his pain out.

"Tony, don't worry, just let these tears go, we all understand. " Ziva smiled friendly, with face full of worry.

"Hi agent Dinozzo. I'm doctor Nick, your physician. Do you feel like removing this?" Tonys' doctor entered the room.

The agent nodded .

"Ok. So, I guess you know what the procedure is. In 3…one…two…three."

Coughing twice, he could barely breath. The nurse put an oxygen mask on his face – this was helpful and lighten his breathing.

"I'm s…so sorry…bossss." He whispered.

"Don't need to say that, Dinozzo." Gibbs smiled sincerely.

"How do you feel, agent Dinozzo?" Doctor Nick asked.

"Need…some…water, I think."

Not much after Tony drank few small sips he threw up. Abby began crying again, she couldn't stand watching Tony like that.

"Ziva, taka Abby out with you, please_"_ McGee said. He wanted to stay with his

friend. This time he would have been with him. Probie hated hospitals not less than Tony and that was the reason he wasn't with his friend when he had the plague. But this time he wouldn't have been a coward.

"Sorry…I…It brought something back." He was ashamed.

"Anthony, are you ok now?" Ducky looked concerned. "You should drink that water, you're dehydrated."

But Tony didn't listen anymore, his mind was far away, his eyes looked empty. He remembered something, something that frightened him. His body was shacking, his lips – trembling.

"Oh, dear boy." Ducky's heart sank.

"Ducky, McGee, please leave us, go and see how's Abby doing. She looks frustrated."with these words Gibbs sat down. The only thing in his mind was killing the bastard who had done this.

_Xxx_

"I'll kill that guy, before Gibbs, I promise."Ziva was furious. Usually, she wasn't emotional, but right now she wished she could punish whoever had done whatever to her friend, partner. _"_My old Mossad friends can be really…what was the word…whatever, lets say – cruel."

"More than killing with paper clip?"

"Oh, that's nothing."

"Actually, I have some more ideas." McGee added and Abby couldn't do anything but smiled.

"You guys are really good friends."

_Xxx_

Tonys' doctor had given him something for his panic attack and he had fallen asleep. He had slept for few hours, then woke up and noticed his boss, sleeping, as far as he could see with his blurry eyes. He decided not to wake up him and if Tony had to be honest, he didn't want someone to tell him if he was ok or not. "Damn it, Anthony, you always screw up. I think Senior may has been right, you're nothing but pain in the ass. And look now, they are death, because of you, your stupid childish acting." And then he lost control over his nerves and threw away the glass of water. Gibbs woke up immediately.

"Sorry, boss, I didn't mean to wake you up. I've just…actually I don't know."

"Don't worry about that…Tony, how are you feeling, honesty?"

"Super… great…no? He saw his boss' face. "Let's just say I'm ok."

"You are not, Dinozzo."

"No, boss, really. I'm little tired, ok, I'm very tired, and hungry. But I can bet I still can run faster than McDonut." Tony put on his mask, which Gibbs knew very well.

"Sure, and I still can kick off your ass for hiding the truth."

"Come on, boss. I'm fine" Tony tried not to sound so desperate, but by no means this didn't work.

"How are you feeling, Tony? I mean both – mentally and physically, but the first one seems to be more important."

"Boss, can we just skip that part? I need nobody's regrets." The agent desperately wanted this conversation to stop, to stay alone. And he didn't care anymore, didn't try to hide behind his second face.

"No, Tony, I can't just skip it."

"Hell, WHY IS IT SO HARD TO JUST LEFT ME ALONE?" his final words came out his mouth more highly than he meant, but at that moment he didn't really care. He closed his eyes and tried to fell asleep, tried to ignore the look on Gibbs' face.

"Ok, ok. Just calm down. I'll sit down without speaking anymore, you try to get some rest. We can talk tomorrow._"_

"I guess you won't leave this room whatever I say. So, just pretend like you're not here, please."

"Rest now, Dinozzo."

Xxx

Next 2 days came and passed. After what had happened, Gibbs didn't want to press his senior field agent and didn't try to talk with him about what he was feeling. Tonys' physical condition was good, only his tattoo hurting and weakness were still disturbing. All other injures were getting better. The doctor came by to check his patient. Gibbs was sitting there, with a newspaper, waiting patiently.

"You're doing excellent, agent Dinozzo."

"I know" he overjoyed "Doc, tell me whene can I go home? Nothing personally but I hate hospitals. That smell and all these sick people – nothing good."

"I have to disappoint you but you have to stay for at least 2-3 more days."

"You're kidding me" Tony looked at doctor's face. "No, you're serious. I can't stay here, I need to go home."

"I can't release you."

"I can take care of myself, doc."

"Sure, you can, but these are called _rules_. Which, by the way I have to follow."

"I'll sign and go on my responsibility."

"Ok, I see you have decided. I'll bring you everything you're supposed to sign tomorrow morning. But I still thing you should stay." With these words doctor Nick left.

Xxx

It was time for Gibbs to take part in this stupid action of his agent.

"You should stay, Dinozzo. You heard you physician. "

"I'm leaving, boss. You can't order me to stay, so don't try."

"I'm not going to try, don't worry. But there is one condition and either you'll accept it or you're staying, even though I have to tie you to that bed."

"Which is what?"

"You're coming in my place."

"Oh, no, no, no. No way. Listen, boss, I'm more than good and I can stay alone, don't worry. I've done it many times in my childhood so I'm trained."

"No, you listen, Tony! You might have misled Ziva and McGee, but I'm not so easy. If you don't want to talk, ok, but I'm not leaving you alone after all that bastard did to you. Furthermore, he is God knows where and we haven't a clue where or how to find him…Oh, by the way your father's coming tomorrow evening."

"My father what?"Now he was furious, his eyes widened.

"I called him and he promised to me he'll come soon. Well, it's going to happen tomorrow. His plane lands at 23.00pm and I think he'll come to my place next morning.

"Great." Tony said that with as more irony as he could.

Xxx

Next day Gibbs asked his agents plus Abby and Ducky to go to his place and prepare his drawing room for Tony. They had to clean all dust in the house but the hardest part was to find which room Gibbs called drawing. They guessed, successfully, that it was a huge room, full with cardboard boxes, newspapers with different military news, one of which said "Wife and daughter of a military had been brutally killed".

"Jethro still hurts, doesn't matter he claims he doesn't."

"Yeah, like father like kid."

"Son, Ziva, not kid." McGee corrected her.

"Ahhh, this language is still killing me."

"Hey! We're here to work, not to speak!" Abby told off her friends.

Xxx

After almost 6 hours cleaning, shifting from the room to the basement and finally decorating with "Welcome home, Tony" they headed to the hospital. Abby had drunk more Caf-Pows than she usually did and she definitely couldn't sit on one place for more than couple of minutes. And silence was unintelligible word for her.

"McGee you're going to Tonys room and me and Ziva and Ducky are waiting for him near the exit and then we all are saying "Surprise" and he'll be so happy and…" she told everything without taking a breath."

"Abigail! He is releasing from a hospital after a horrible experience, doesn't have birthday!" Honestly, Ducky was irritated.

"You're right, Ducky. Do you think we should go back and remove the decoration?" she was really disappointed.

"No, Abs, it's ok. But I know Gibbs gonna kill us for making this with his house."

"He'll kill only you, he loves me," A triumphal smile was written out her face.

"This calms me."

_Xxx_

"Ziva, I beg you to slow down. There's a speed limit." They were on they way back from the hospital. Gibbs, Tony and Ducky were at one car, Ziva, McGee and Abby were at second. McGee was totally scared while Ziva was trying to ride only in e few inches from Gibbs' car. There were 2 crazy drives at the same time.

"Oh, you're such a baby, McGook." She imitated Tonys' voice.

"I have to agree with Ziva, McGook."

"Oh, shut up both of you. It's better to be late than to be dead."

"But with me you will be neither late or dead." Ziva laugh.

"I have my doubts."

_Xxx_

When they entered the house and Tony saw the huge poster "Welcome back Tony" he felt he was going to cry again. But this time not because of the pain, but because of his happiness. A momentary, brief feel of bliss. Seeing it, Gibbs felt he was going to kill his lab rat, but when he noticed the excitement on Tonys' face, he changed his mind.

"Thank you so much, you're my best friend, Abs…After you, boss._" _they laugh

"Is someone hungry? I prepared your favorite pasta,"Ziva said proudly

Tony wasn't hungry at all, but he decided just to eat little bit from it. "Not every day someone prepares pasta for you, Anthony. You should eat, otherwise Gibbs will squeeze it in your mouth. "Mmm, delicious." He announced loudly.

xxx

**Well, today's my birthday so please give me your reviews, pleeease. And tell me what would you like to read in the next chapters :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**So, that's the new chapter. I hope you'd like it. Sory for the late update but my stupid computer isn't working very well lately and it deleted the chapter and I had to write it again :(**

**Again, thanks to my Beta :)**

**I don't own any of the characters :(**

"**My ruined world"**

It was early morning the day after Tony was released from the hospital… well, after he released himself. He was laying on his bed in Gibbs' living room, pretending he was sleeping, thinking about his world, the one nobody knew about. _Hey mom, I don't want to blame you but do you know my life's been a ruin since you died? Most people think you can't blame an 8-year-old boy for the death of his mother but they're wrong – ask father if you want. He still thinks that the fault was mine. Maybe that's why I spent the biggest part of my childhood in boarding schools. You know, without parents to control them, teens can be really mean to each other. Of course, I don't blame either of you, well I don't blame you, father is a crab. Can you imagine that Gibbs has called him? And what's worse is that Senior is coming. Hell - as if I don't have enough problems right now. You know what, it doesn't matter, I'll let you rest in peace and go have breakfast._

Xxx

Thinking Tony was sleeping, Gibbs decided to make breakfast – pancakes. He knew Shelly had loved them and he thought Tony might like them too. Gibbs had noticed how little Tony had eaten the previous night but had decided not to say a word, at least then. Quietly rattling around the kitchen, he fell into an easy rhythm as he found his ingredients, mixed the batter and got out the frying pan, pleased as the mix cooked to fluffy perfection. He frowned as the sound of the doorbell had him turning off the stove. It told him that it could be Tony's father as none of the team, or Fornell, used the bell. He placed the last pancake on a plate and opened the door.

"Agent Gibbs, nice to meet you again." It really was Anthony Dinozzo Senior. He shook Gibbs' hand and went in. Gibbs escorted him back to the kitchen.

"If I have to be honest, Mr. Dinozzo, I'm surprised you're here. I had my doubts."

"Believe it or not, agent Gibbs, I love Junior."

"I don't believe it, _dad_. Boss, I advise you not to believe that too." Hair messed and eyes still a bit blurry with sleep, Tony entered the kitchen, voice dripping with sarcasm. He knew how much Senior hated to be called 'dad'.

"I'm glad you're okay, son."

"Oh, come on dad, you don't care about me."

"Why do you think so, Junior?"

"Let's see! I don't know, maybe I thought we'd be closer after our last meeting; after our conversation. But now I know how stupid I was - again. Do you know what, _dad_, you always say we'll be closer, I always believe it and then it always doesn't happen. But things have changed." He said the words fast, in that typical Tony way of anger, his wide green eyes were shining, ready for a new dose of tears. "So, _dad ,_ please do both of us a favor and go back wherever you've come from."

"Dinozzo, that's enough! And after you close your mouth I suggest you eat some of these pancakes, or you'll pass out. You're too weak to play games with yourself and not eat!" Seeing where this conversation was going, Gibbs decided to stop it and make his senior field agent eat something. But his words did more harm than good.

"Dinozzos don't pass out, agent Gibbs." Tony's father said with arrogance.

"I have to disappoint you father. I passed out. See, I said it, I finally said it – I'm as weak as you have always told me." Tony was furious; all his anger coming out. Punching the wall, he decided to step back and get out of the kitchen, otherwise he would say more things which he would regret.

"Tony…" Gibbs started, but it was too late. The younger agent was out, heading down to the basement.

"It's not a big deal, agent Gibbs. I know Junior hates me. I understood that the day my wife died."

"If I were him, I would too. We both know how sensitive Tony is, despite the fact he hides it. I have only one thing left to say to you and you better listen to me carefully – if you ever hurt him again, I'll hurt you. And believe me you won't like my way."

"As I said, I love my son. In my own way, but I love him. I hope one day he'll understand that… That's my number…" Senior handed Gibbs a business card, "…and you call if my son changes his mind. I'll be here one more week." Saying that, Senior disappeared out the door and into a taxi.

Xxx

The rest of the day continued to be bad, as if an evil force was trying to punish them for an unknown reason.

Firstly, Gibbs found Tony sitting in the basement with a bottle of bourbon, trying to escape his world - unsuccessfully of course. "I chose it that way, boss," Tony muttered. But before Gibbs had the chance to ask what he was talking about, Tony closed his eyes and his mind went to another Dinozzo place – a better one.

Secondly, and as it seemed worst, the biggest disaster happened in the evening when Ziva, McGee, Abby and Ducky came by.

"Did you bring some food, McGee?" Gibbs asked as soon as they entered his house. He was concerned about his 'I'm not hungry' agent.

"Yes, boss. Abby got some Chinese food." McGee answered while entering the living room, where Tony was talking with the others.

"Hey Probie, a little bird told me you have some movies. Is that true?" Tony smirked.

"What? I told you that, not a bird…Wait, that's one of your weird idioms, isn't it? Ziva asked clearly confused.

"You're such a genius, Ziva! Yeah, it is and it's not weird, it's great actually."

"You think so because it's your maternity language, Tony. For not English-talking people it's not so funny, believe me.

Gibbs decided to stop their stupid banter by slapping his lead agent. That always helped.

"Hey, what was that for?" Faking pain, Tony rubbed at his head.

"For debating stupid things. Now eat or I'll throw out these movies. The dinner is first."

"I'm not a baby, boss. I can take care of myself and when I say I'm not hungry I do mean I'm not hungry. Oh, talking about movies, what do you have McGeek?

"I took "Restless", "Behemoth" and "Buried". They're all new."

"Yeah, McGee, and I've already watched two of them." Abby said sadly. "I told you to wait for me and then we could both go for the films."

"But we still have one you haven't seen, Abigail," Ducky stopped their quarrel.

Unfortunately the unseen film was "Buried" and no one realized what it would do to Tony.

_Oh, no problem, I was kidnapped, not buried alive,_ he thought, trying not to watch the movie and instead concentrated on just relaxing. Unfortunately, not paying attention to a movie was against his nature and he could hear the biggest part of the conversations.

"…_There's no water for you, Mr. Hopkins…" _

Tony was trying to concentrate on his thoughts.

"…_No one will help you, you've disappointed all your friends…"_

He was thinking he was going to throw up, trying hard not to drop his bowl of popcorn.

"…_you're lying here, alone, until you finally give up and pull the trigger. Just like my brother did, when you put him in prison…"_

Tony threw away the bowl, unable to hold in his anger anymore and ran out of the room. This all happened so fast that it was hard for the others to realize what had just happened.

"Boss, what was that?" McGee finally asked

"This movie, Timothy," Ducky explained before Gibbs had the chance to answer.

"What…what were you thinking while choosing these films, McGee?" Gibbs stared at him, coldly furious.

"I…I…I wasn't thinking, boss." McGee could barely find the words to answer, his voice full of guilt.

Xxx

Meanwhile, Tony entered the living room. Hitting his head on the wall he finally let his tears fall. _'You're so weak and vulnerable, Anthony!_' He heard his father's voice. Trying to escape from his painful memories the agent started pacing the room, the ceaseless movement getting faster and faster until he saw the edge of Gibbs' shadow. In an attempt to hide his eyes he opened a drawer and started looking for something, what exactly he didn't have the faintest idea.

"Just trying to find my…"

"Don't lie to me, Dinozzo."

"Then don't make me lie to you, boss. I don't need a lecture." His words just came out.

"Really? Because I don't think so. Look, Tony…"

But before Gibbs could finish Tony stopped him, wagging his finger. "Not. Now. Boss."

"No, Tony. Now. It's not necessary to deal with this alone. You still have friends, let us help you."

"Yeah, boss, I _still_ have. But will I have them if I talk about what happened, about how weak Anthony Dinozzo is, about how I sold my ass? If I tell them what I did to Morris, or to some other boys? Tell me, Gibbs! My entire life is some kind of failure, do you know that?" Now he was yelling, tears dropping, all his anger coming out. He sat down on the cold floor, leaned against the wall.

"Yes, Tony, you will. It's good to show your feelings sometimes."

"Really, boss? 'Cuz I really think they are better hidden somewhere."

"Dinozzo, what do you mean you 'sold your ass'?"

"Do you really wanna know?"

"Yes, Tony, I do."

More tears began falling, Tony stayed silent for a long moment. "I… he raped me." He finally managed to say.

"WHAT?" Gibbs could feel his own boiling anger. He expected anything, but not that.

"I… I sold myself for a glass of water, boss. Damn it, I did it." Tony continued without paying attention to Gibbs' reaction. "Hell, I'm a trained agent, but I was thirsty… and he promised me a glass of water if I paid for it, without telling me what I was supposed to do… I'm nothing more than a failure, boss. It seems Senior has been right about me, you know."

"You are neither weak nor a failure, Dinozzo, and the next time you say you are, I'll slap you."

"Sure, boss."

"Tony, that's serious. You should go back to the hospital for a few more exams."

"No way, Gibbs. I'm not going back. Fire me if you want, but I'll disobey your order for the first time in my life. No one will touch me."

"It's for the best, you…"

"DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME? I'M NOT GOING THERE! Now, please… leave me alone."

Gibbs could feel his own tears, his own pain. The more days passed the more he wanted to kill Morris. He decided not to push his senior field agent anymore and to talk with Ducky. Maybe the M.E. would know how to convince Tony to go to the hospital.

"Ok then, I'm leaving. But we're not done yet, Dinozzo."

Xxx

After leaving Tony Gibbs went back to where the others were waiting silently. Everyone was lost deep in their own thoughts and when Gibbs entered he scared the hell out of them.

"Gibbs! Don't do that again!" Abby hissed.

"Don't do what, Abs? I think this is still my house and I can go wherever I want."

Abby was stunned by these words. Gibbs hadn't ever spoken to her like that. It was scary.

"Jethro, calm down. Don't take it out on Abigail, it's not her fault."

"You're right, sorry Abs." He'd just broken on of his rules but didn't really care. Saying these words he kissed Abby's cheek. "Ducky, I have to talk with you… in private."

The others didn't like the idea of being isolated from what was going on but obviously they didn't have the right to say a word.

"Gibbs, you'll have to tell us sooner or later…" was all Ziva managed before both men went to another room.

Xxx

Ducky and Gibbs went into the kitchen where they couldn't be overheard.

"Jethro, tell me what's going on."

"Duck,…" Gibbs put his hands on Ducky's shoulders. "…I don't know if there is an easy way to say this so I'll just say it." He took a breath. "Tony has been raped." Finally he let the words out; they were so strong, powerful, striking. For a few seconds Ducky stayed still, not believing what had just been said to him. In a while he found his voice again and managed to speak.

"How...? What…? Why?" There were so many questions in his head.

"Sorry my friend, but that is something Tony has to say for himself."

"But Jethro, that's something very serious. He has to go back to the hospital for…" His words were cut off.

"That's why I'm telling you. I hope you can speak with him and make him go because he won't listen to me. He's a little bit agitated right now but I think you can talk with him."

"Ok, I'll try. But Jethro, if he doesn't even listen to you then I don't think I can help right now." Saying his last words Ducky headed toward Tony's room where he found the agent curled up, sitting on the floor, rocking.

"Anthony…" Ducky began quietly, not wanting to scare him. "Anthony, dear boy, Jethro has just told me." Ducky was waiting for an answer but he didn't receive any. Not one to give up he gently pressed on.

Tony continued rocking as if he was all alone, desperately trying to make his mind go somewhere else. Two or three minutes passed and Ducky was showing no signs of stopping, still saying words that Tony couldn't hear, when he finally gave up and looked into the older man's eyes.

"It's all my fault, Ducky, so I don't want anybody to feel sorry for me. I… I deserve everything that happened to me."

"Anthony, you should stop thinking like that. It's not your fault and it never has been.

"I…I don't want to talk about that. I just wanna escape from my mind, I wanna disappear."

"It may look hard now, dear boy, but in time the pain will be forgotten, I promise. Now I have to take you to the hospital for…"

"Don't even try, Ducky!"

"Anthony please, the sooner we go there the faster you'll be back home. Don't make me drug you. You know Gibbs would do it too."

"Do. Not. Touch. Me!" The agent stood up shaking.

"Tony! Are you aware of all the risks?" Using his first name, that wasn't good. The next time Ducky spoke he was yelling at the young men. "WE ALL CARE ABOUT YOU, THAT'S WHY WE ALL WILL MAKE SURE YOU GO TO THE HOSPITAL, YOUNG MAN."

Hearing all that yelling the others were now standing at the door, shocked at what they saw. On the one side of the room their usually calm M.E. was red-faced and obviously upset, the total opposite of normal. On the other side an incredibly pale and trembling Tony looked like he was going to fall over at any second. Mouths open, the team members stood frozen at the door when suddenly Tony hit the wall with all the energy left to him and ran out of the room at light speed, pushing through their bodies, apparently not caring that his friends were standing there.

"DINOZZO!" Gibbs barked and followed his agent. Snapping out of their daze the others did the same.

"I'M GOING HOME, BOSS."

"Tony…" Gibbs managed to catch up and grabbed his shoulders to stop him,"…you can't always put your pain somewhere in you and pretend you're ok. It doesn't work like that." Turning a struggling Tony towards him he pushed him against the wall to not only to keep him from running any further but also to hold the ashen faced man up.

"No, Gibbs, you're wrong. I feel great doing it, it seems this is the only thing I'm good at. Now get out of my way, I'm not staying here anymore!"

**Please review. And if you have some ideas feel free to share them. Actually I have some but I'd be glad to know what you want to read in the next chapters :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**I don't own any of the characters in that story **

**And there's no way not to mention my Beta, so one more time - huge thanks to Samantha V**

**Chapter 6**

"**I'm fine"**

After running away from Gibbs' house that night Tony headed toward his apartment, frustrated with himself, with his colleagues, friends, and boss who was like a father to him. His place wasn't far from Gibbs' so Tony decided to walk, to have the chance to clear his head. _Hell, how did this all happen? _The agent was asking himself. (**) _Greg, you were right that day, you know that, don't you? You told me that there always is justice and nothing bad we do will stay unpunished, but I didn't believe you. Your words turned out to be very right, no matter that you were talking about my father. Hell, Greg, you were the only one who cared about me, the only father I had, the only one who could see the real me. Now it's Gibbs, but I think I disappointed him, I managed to screw up so many times. You know what, these days I'm asking myself if my life is worth something or if it'd be better if I just ended it. Maybe I'll see you soon, sir. I really miss you. You taught me a lot, just like the boss. 'His thoughts wandered back to his old Trainer (**) _

Thinking like that for almost an hour, Tony finally entered his apartment. The empty, dark place made him feel so alone, desperate, like his soul was dying. The agent hadn't eaten anything for a long time leaving him weak and light headed. _Anthony, you should eat or you'll go back to the hospital. Maybe Gibbs and Ducky will be happy then. _His hysterical laugh was more than frightening. Opening the fridge, Tony found only some Chinese food, who knew how long it had been there, and a half full bottle of vodka. Grabbing both he flopped onto his couch. "For my fucking life!" he toasted himself quietly.

**Xxx**

Next morning Gibbs was sitting in his car in front of Tony's building, sunk deep in his thoughts. _Hell, Dinozzo, why is it everything bad always happens to you? You really don't deserve that, but in some ways fate is against you. I do hope it's not your breaking point, son. _The sound of a horn brought the lead agent back to reality. He went out of his car, locked it and entered the building. Knocking three times on Tony's door there wasn't any answer. Taking his spare key he let himself in to find Tony asleep on the couch, empty bottle of vodka sitting next to him, his usually calm face tightly stretched. Tony had always looked younger while sleeping, but at that moment he looked way older.

"Tony." Gibbs said quietly, not wanting to scare the young man. But there was no response. "Dinozzo!" Tony jumped off the couch, confused and grabbed his weapon.

"Hey, easy. It's me."

Becoming aware, the younger agent put his gun on the table and sat back down. His head was aching, obviously a half bottle of vodka was too much for his weak body. "Don't do that again boss."

"Did you sleep well?"

"Honestly, boss, I haven't slept better for a long time. Obviously vodka helps."

"That's not the right way, Tony."

"Maybe, but it makes me feel better."

"Does it?"

"A little bit."

"Dinozzo, it's high time you started talking with me about what bothers you. It won't hurt you if you try. I can be a good listener if you give me a chance."

"I… I just can't."

"Why not?"

"It doesn't matter." Tony's last words were full of pain, regret; as if there was nothing of the old Tony left in him.

"It does because I care about you." Lifting Tony's chin Gibbs replied with a tone that very few people had ever heard. A tone that said how much the lead agent cared about his SFA.

"No, boss, just don't say it. I'm not worth anybody's concern."

"But why, Tony? I can't understand you."

"I screwed up so many times, boss. I screwed up the day I was born"

Hearing these words Gibbs head slapped his senior field agent.

"Hey, what was that for?"

"Now, you better listen and remember what I'm going to say. You. Are. Worth. A. Lot. And I'm proud of you. Do you get that?"

"Yes boss.'

"Good. Now you better take a shower, 'cuz if you look like that when I come by in the evening I'll kick your ass. Eat, and don't touch alcohol." Barking his last words, Gibbs went out, leaving Tony alone with his thoughts once again.

xxx

A few more days passed and it was time Tony went back to work. After a week of constantly saying he was ready, Gibbs finally agreed on condition he'd work desk duty for a while before going back to the field. Tony accepted but wasn't happy at all. He was pretending to be ok when he was with his friends but the mask fell off when he was alone. Drinking in a bar or just at home, taking his painkillers then pretending to sleep - that was his life now; that was what made him feel better.

Tony was so lost in his misery he didn't notice that despite all of his pretenses he hadn't fooled anybody into thinking he was okay or ready for work. If he'd looked closely he would have seen the concern and that they all thought it was better that they could keep an eye on their friend if he was there with them.

"Dinozzo, you're late"

"Sorry boss, I overslept. Won't happen again." He tried to act normally, his smile a smoke screen, but something in his voice wasn't as casual as it had been. He was thinner and looked like he hadn't slept for ages and everybody noticed.

"Are you sure you're ready, Tony?" Ziva was concerned.

"Yeah, look at me, I haven't looked this good before."

"Really, Dinozzo? You look more like a wreck than you looked like after the plague."

"It's always a pleasure to hear that, boss."

Gibbs' phone rang. After a terse conversation lasting no more than a few seconds, and not more than six words, he barked:

"Grab you gear, we have a dead Marine and kidnapped seven-year-old boy… Dinozzo, where are you going?"

Tony had grabbed his backpack and opened his drawer to get his gun, completely forgetting about the deal.

"Yeah, desk duty." He put his bag back on the ground with a disappointed face. "And what am I supposed to do _here_?" he yelled at their retreating backs as they headed for the elevator.

"Rest! We'll call you."

Xxx

Gibbs, McGee and Ziva were on their way to the crime scene in an awkward, unusual silence. They all missed Tony's film references and his complaining about Gibb's driving skills. The saddest thing was that they all knew that their Tony might never come back. Ziva had noticed that her partner hadn't given a damn about her language mistakes; she'd purposely made a few, but Tony just skipped them. She missed that. McGee tried to make Tony use some strange, funny names, but all he heard was the old, boring _"McGee"_. For the past two weeks he'd taken a look at the superglue in Tony's drawer every day, wondering if his friend would use it again. He almost missed Tony's pranks.

Driving in silence for twenty minutes or so, Ziva decided to break the silence. "Gibbs, why did you agree for Tony to come back so early? We all know he is not ready."

"Yeah, but it's better for him to work than to sit at home and think about what happened and drink whatever is in his fridge."

"Boss, he… he doesn't look like himself, even though he's trying to act stupid like always. You should speak with him." The probie jumped in.

"Do you think so, McGee? Do you think I haven't tried? But he is Anthony Dinozzo, always been hurt, fooled and he knows how to hide things."

"Gibbs, I think this is Carter's house." Ziva pointed to a big white house, the front clustered with loads of officers and cars. With that their conversation ended.

Xxx

Getting out of the car the team noticed the familiar ME truck. There wasn't anything strange about it except for the fact that Ducky usually arrived at a crime scene a while after them. Generally Ducky blamed his assistant for that but, to be honest, it was both of them. Ducky had always been absentminded, and with Mr. Palmer, who was a young version of himself, their accuracy wasn't something that happened very often.

"Hey, Ducky. You're first." McGee stated.

"Yes, Mr. Palmer used to live here and he knew the way. It's good that he knows at least his own address."

"What do we have, Duck?" Gibbs didn't care very much about these details.

"Oh, actually not very much, Jethro. Lieutenant John Carter was killed with one shot, straight in the heart. Time of death – approximately four am. His boy's missing, as you probably know. I'll tell you more after the autopsy."

"Ok. McGee, call and tell Dinozzo to check everything about our lieutenant. He'll be happy with some work to do." Gibbs barked and McGee immediately took out his phone.

"Oh, Anthony is back? That's… hm… great. But isn't it early, Jethro?"

"Don't worry, Ducky, I'll take care of him." Gibbs was annoyed and used a ruder tone than he intended. "See you in autopsy Ducky."

"I hope, my friend, I hope."

Xxx

After talking with McGee, Tony decided it would be better to use Abby's help for his task. It wasn't hard to find the first bit of information and he had already done it while waiting for his boss' call, but now he had to track Carter's second phone and he knew he wasn't good enough with computers.

"Hey, Abs." He walked in and handed the goth a cup of Caf-Pow.

"Tonyyy" Jumping for joy she hugged him.

"Wow…don't break me, Abs," he joked.

"Sorry." She was still feeling guilty because of the film.

"Abs, I'm good, don't worry." Tony kissed her cheek.

"No, Tony, you aren't. Don't deny it, just look at yourself."

"Don't wanna talk about that… er, can you help me tracking that cell phone? It seems that Carter had two. We… they found only one at the crime scene. Maybe the kidnappers had taken the second one before murdering the father."

"No problem my sweetheart" she joked and returned the kiss before turning back to her computer screen. "Poor boy. How scared he must be! To be kidnapped by strangers who want God knows what…" she stopped, realizing what she had just said. "Sorry, sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"It's ok, Abs. I can't get hurt every time someone says that word. It's weird, you know, with our job."

"Yeah, Tony, but your eyes say something else."

"Forget about that… I'm going upstairs before Gibbs kills me for hanging around here."

"I'll call you when I have something."

"Thanks."

"Tony!" she yelled after him. "Welcome back."

Xxx

Having collected all the evidence they could find, McGee and Ziva went to the neighbor's house to ask the owners a few questions. They were supposed to be a friendly, older couple, without children.

A rather portly, grey-haired man opened the door.

"Hello, I'm special agent McGee, that's special agent David, we're with NCIS." McGee said, showing his badge.

"What can I do for you?" Mr. Collins asked politely.

"We want to ask you a few questions about your neighbor, Lieutenant John Carter."

"Oh, come in, come in, don't just stand there. My wife's gone to the supermarket but I'll tell you as much as I can." He ushered them into a pleasant living room. McGee thought it suited the man in front of him, bland and maybe just a bit too soft.

"Thanks. How well did you know him?"

"Actually, well enough. I cried when I heard about… about his death. I've babysat his son loads of times. Such a nice young boy, smart. After his wife's death, John was hard up balancing between work and his child. He didn't have enough money, enough time. Linda and I used to help him however we could.

"Did you hear something strange last night? Or do you know who may want to kill the Lieutenant or hurt his boy?"

"I'm sorry. Me and my wife use sleeping-pills, you know, we're a little bit older and it's not so easy to sleep at our age."

"I understand. With work like ours it's not easy either," McGee complained.

"Ok, thank very much. If you think of something, please call us." Ziva handed Mr. Collins her number and the two agents went back to the crime scene.

xxx

Gibbs, McGee and Ziva came back to NCIS in the afternoon with all the evidence they had collected, dropping it off at Forensics before going back up to their desks. Entering the bullpen, they were surprised and shocked at what they saw: Tony, sleeping at his desk. Yeah, it had happened before, but not in the afternoon, not in the middle of a case, with a missing boy. His phone was blinking, indicating that Abby had called him three times. Gibbs was wondering why she hadn't just come up there when his thoughts were interrupted by "bing" and a very angry goth girl exiting the elevator.

"Anthony D. Dinozzo Junior, I hope you have a good reason for not picking up your phone!" Abby told off the sleeping agent in her usual loving tone.

"Abby, what…? McGee asked confused.

Seeing the sleeping Tony in front of them, McGee and Ziva exchanged glances and they both knew it was time to joke with their friend. They were glad about getting caught his slip. Moreover, whey wanted to wake up the familiar but sleeping kid, a part of the SFA they had always loved but neither of them had said it loudly. For their horror his reaction was far away form they expectations.

Ziva took a paper-bag, blew into it so that it expanded and burst it near Tony. He jumped and reached for his gun, his eyes filled with fear. I t was obvious that he wasn't having fun, not this time. Both junior agents felt very guilty. Gibbs shoot a glance at them and each McGee and Ziva took their places in front of their computers.

"Dinozzo, are you alright?" Gibbs tone more concerned than angry.

"Yeah, boss, of course. My eyes were a little bit irritated, you know how this computer screen can harm them. I just closed them for a while. Not a big deal, don't worry, boss." Tony tried to make a stupid excuse.

"Aha…I need to talk with you, Dinozzo. Now!" Gibbs nodded toward one of the interrogation rooms, 'cuz all other private places were busy.

"Boss…"

"That wasn't a request."

Xxx

Entering one of the interrogation rooms, Gibbs sat down on a chair, nodding toward the other one which Tony settled into.

"Sorry boss." Tony apologized though his face said: _"What, I'm tired."_

"Don't apologize, Dinozzo. It's…" Gibbs couldn't finish his sentence.

"I don't care, boss." Gibbs stared at him. "Won't happen again. Are we done?"

Skipping the unusual impatience in his SFA, Gibbs continued" Tony, how long has it been since you slept?" Using his first name - that was a sign of worry in his boss that Tony couldn't miss.

"Only missed last night. Kind of excited about coming back I think. No need to worry."

"What have I said about lies, Dinozzo?"

"You'll kick my ass?"

"That too. You can pretend you're fine with McGee, Ziva, Abby and even Ducky, not with me. By the way, they don't believe you either."

"Come on, Gibbs, boss. I'm fine. Desk duty makes me bored; it's not as interesting as you think. I don't recommend it." Tony tried to make a joke. He was sick and tired of people who were telling him how he felt. There had already been too many in only half a day and the number was going up.

"I'm watching you, Dinozzo. If I see you're not capable, you're going home. Now back to work, we have a missing boy to save." Gibbs knew his senior field agent wasn't good at all. It was going to be a long day, or even days.

Xxx

The rest of the afternoon was silent and the tension was high around the office. Everybody wanted to find that kid. Bobby Carter was only seven, with deep brown hair, green eyes. Yeah, the look in these green eyes was so familiar to Gibbs, it was a look that he had been used to seeing for many years but which was gone now. Gibbs didn't want his senior field agent to see that picture.

"_What did you find, boss?" Tony had asked when he saw his boss was staring at something on his computer screen. "Nothing Dinozzo, keep searching."_

He sent Ziva and McGee to Bobby's schoolto meet his teacher. She told them that Bobby was a very smart boy, full of energy, curious about the world outside, friendly, with many friends. Parents dreamt about having a kid like Bobby.

"You know his mother died last year, don't you?" Mrs. Spade asked them.

"Yeah, we know."

"Since then things have been changing. One morning, a little after his mother died, I saw Bobby crying in the gym. I though it was normal, but he told me he wasn't crying because of his mother. He showed me his back – there were loads of scratches. He told me they had been made by his own father."

"Did this happen again?"

"Yes. But the poor boy must have gotten used to it. He was as cheerful as before his mom's death, his marks were still excellent… "

"But?"

"He came to my house, a week ago. I was shocked, I mean he's only seven but managed to take the right bus, pay for it and find my place. When I asked him what was going on, he refused to tell me at first. But after an hour or so he told me everything. Some strangers had come to his house, argued with his father, then his father had worked off his bad temper on him. He told me his friend, Mr. Collins, wasn't home and… and I was the only one who could make him feel safe." She broke down crying.

"Ok, thank you Ms. Spade. Please, if Bobby contacts you or you just remember something else, call us."

"Agent McGee,…" the woman pleaded, "…please, find him."

Xxx

This first case was becoming a real hell for Tony. He tried not to take it personally, but he couldn't quite manage. Everything was bringing back bad memories, every picture, every smell. He did know what that feeling Abby was talking about a few hours ago felt like - knowing you're completely alone, vulnerable. Anybody can play with your mind, can destroy you mentally. _"Anthony, your friends are disgusted by what you did to me. They won't come for you, they hate you now." _Being said on the first day these words were unbelievable, but after a little more time they made sense. And Tony believed it. _"Now and forever you're alone. This is not your family anymore, they're just coworkers. You can't trust them." _Tony could here the echo in his ears; Morris' voice; the truth in these words.

"Dinozzo!" Gibbs barked. No response. Tony was gazing into empty space, fear in his eyes. "Tony!"

The harsh voice finally penetrated his thoughts and yanked him back to the present – hard institutional chair under his butt and cluttered desk in front of him. "Yeah boss! What… what?" he was confused. Why was everybody staring at him?

"Are you with us?"

"No… yes… what?"

"Hey, Tony, are you ok?" McGee asked looking at the pale face of his friend_._

"I… I need to go out!" Saying those words Tony bolted and disappeared into the elevator.

Xxx

It was so quiet everywhere, only the moon was disturbing this perfect place with its light. Tony was walking on autopilot, not hearing or seeing anything around him, only a teasing voice saying the same words over and over again kept him company._'…You're alone. Now and forever you're alone… alone… forever.' _

He'd had no destination when he'd left NCIS, just taken the first right and kept on going, only stopping to take his bearings when he realized he was totally lost. Now it was late, some time around midnight, and he was still walking; empty streets, a bar in front of him. Going in, everywhere was quiet, everywhere but inside himself. _'You're alone.' _Entering it, he turned on his phone, ignoring the multiple messages, and dialed.

"_Anthony?"_ It was Anthony Dinozzo Senior, voice confused and a little sleep blurred. _"What are you calling me about? It's the middle of the night! Are you ok?"_

"IT'S YOUR FAULT!" Tony yelled, his blood was boiling.

"You little, ungrateful crap, what are you blaming me for now?"

"About what you did to me, _father_."

"You had a home, food to eat, everything. What more do you want from me?"

"I wanted a father, someone who cared… Now, it's your fault." Tony hung up and headed for a seat at the bar. "Vodka, please."

Xxx

Back in NCIS, everything was going wrong. Something in this case was strange but Gibbs just couldn't concentrate on what, his mind was on Tony.

"McGee, did you get anything?" Gibbs' anger at the situation came out in his voice.

"Not yet." McGee was a little bit scared of his boss.

"We haven't managed to track down Carter's second cell phone yet, it's still off." Ziva decided to save McGee.

"Keep trying! I need coffee!"

"Yes, boss."

Xxx

It was five am, but everybody was in the NCIS building, even Abby – well, almost everybody. Gibbs got some coffee and went back to his team, hoping Tony would have returned. But he was wrong. The lead agent was as furious as he was concerned about his SFA. His gut was telling him something was really wrong.

"Abby! Stop that music or I'll stop it my way!" He went into Abby's lab, bringing her Caf-Pow.

Abby couldn't believe her ears. Gibbs had never spoken to her like that before. "Gibbs, what's going on?"

"Sorry, Abs, just… Tony."

"What about him, Gibbs?" Obviously the goth hadn't heard about what had happened in the bullpen.

"He was distracted, then he went out and just disappeared. In the middle of a case, a case about a missing child!" He was yelling again.

"I'll track his phone, wait a second…Oh, no, no, no!"

"What?"

"It's off. Sorry Gibbs."

"Don't need to say it." He kissed her cheek and handed her the Caf-Pow

"Gibbs, when he comes back I'll kill him! Well, I might hug him first, but then I'll kill him!"

Xxx

Tony was still sitting in that bar, maybe just a bit more than slightly drunk. He looked at his watch; it was six am. _Gibbs will kill me,_ he thought. _I have to go back to my job, if I still have one._ The agent stood up and reeled. _Wow, I've drunk a little bit more than I thought. Easy Anthony, good, now let's pay… $35? How many glasses have I had? Doesn't matter. I can work, that's all that's important now._

Xxx

The situation in NCIS was coming to a head, with a furious, worried, Gibbs, still missing Tony and no more leads to help their case.

"Gibbs, we may have something." Ziva yelled to Gibbs who was in the other corner of the room, trying to contact his wayward agent.

"What?"

"It seems Carter isn't the biological father of Bobby. He adopted him 6 years ago, but his real father is Nicolay Peterson, born in Russia but spent his life in the U.S.A. Well, most of it in prison. He was released 6 months ago."

"What had he done?"

"Two robberies, three assaults, pick-pocketing. Nothing big, but altogether were equal to 11years in prison. First for 4 years, then one year out and then 7 more in."

"Find him!"

Xxx

Seven am. "Bing" It was the elevator. Tony came out of it, shaking, clothes rumpled, the normally immaculate agent walked a decidedly unsteady line to the bullpen. Everybody stared at him. Abby and Ducky were up too, discussing some evidence. Gibbs couldn't believe his eyes; he didn't want to believe them.

"What do we have, boss?" Tony asked cheerfully, he didn't notice all the looks.

"Anthony Dinozzo!" Abby slapped him before giving him a hug.

"Hey, what was that for?"

"Tony, are you crazy or what?" Gibbs was almost speechless. This couldn't be the man he knew; this wasn't Tony, only a shell of his son. "God, you're a federal agent. Come on, I'm driving you home. And this time we're having a long conversation."

"I'm fine, I can drive. Actually I drove through three intersections to get here 'cuz I have abandoned my car."

"You did what?" McGee was amazed.

"It's not a big deal, Probie. I'm fine."

"Yeah we know that… Now stand up and go! ….I want Peterson here, now!" Grabbing Tony's arm Gibbs forcibly steered his agent back towards the elevator.

Xxx

The drive to Tony's apartment was silent. Gibbs was angry, worried and sad beyond words. This wasn't the Tony he had known for eight years, it couldn't be. Tony was drunk, his head lolling against the passenger side window.

"I'll never drink vodka again, boss." Those were his only words, his head was aching very badly.

"You won't, Dinozzo, I can guarantee you that."

Gibbs stopped the car and hauled his pliant agent out of the vehicle and into the building. Slamming open the door the older man pushed a stumbling Tony into the dark, messy apartment that looked as if it hadn't been cleaned for weeks. "Sit!" Gibbs barked.

"Actually I was thinking of lying down, boss."

"You'll sleep when I'm done." He pushed him down onto the plush leather couch.

"It won't happen again, I promise. Now can I sleep?"

"Tony, what's going on with you? And don't tell me you're fine. Look – have you drunk all these?" Gibbs pointed to the bottles scattered all around. "That's not the right way to deal with this situation, Tony," his voice gentled.

"Then what should it be, boss?" Gibbs had never heard Tonys' voice like that – hopeless, with no emotions, painful. The younger agent was so vulnerable, fragile; like a kid.

"Not that way." Giving up his intended lecture as a lost cause, he pulled up Tony's legs onto the couch and removed his shoes so that he was no longer slouched but more or less stretched out, and grabbing a throw pillow he tucked it under the already nearly unconscious head. Rummaging through the room he came up with a blanket that he threw on top of the sprawled man, as well he placed a glass of water and bottle of aspirin nearby. "Now you can sleep. See you tomorrow - sober." A mumble and a nod his only answer.

Saying those words Gibbs went out, entered his car and start driving. A little tear cropped from his eye.

xxx

**Guys, I have huge problem - I have only few ideas left. So, please, be nice with a girl who wants to satisfy her readers and give me some ideas. Tell me what you'd like to see in the next chapters :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi again :) I'm so glad that you people gave me some ideas and I'm really using it, but most of them will be seen in the next chapter. Actually, there will be only 2 more chapters :)**

**I own nothing ;(**

**As usual - huge thank you to my Beta :)**

After leaving Tony's place Gibbs went back to NCIS, still wondering how that had happened. _God, Dinozzo, we'll have a long talk tonight. _With the oh so familiar "bing" the elevator's doors opened and he stepped into the bullpen only to acutely feel the four pairs of eyes which were immediately pointed at him.

"What?" he barked.

"How's Tony, Gibbs?" Abby broke the silence first.

"He'll be fine, Abs. Don't worry… Now, back to work! Do we have Peterson in here?"

"Yeah, boss, but…"

"But what, McGee?"

"He seems to be innocent. I mean his face and body language," McGee hesitated before quickly adding, "Plus he has an alibi."

"Did you interrogate him?"

"Actually yes, Gibbs." Ziva tried to help her friend. "We thought we didn't have any time to waste. I mean there is a missing little boy."

"Ok." Gibbs nodded, approving. "Then stop wasting time making excuses and start talking, Ziva."

"Peterson confirmed that Bobby is his son and he knew about him. But he claimed he didn't want to hurt the boy, so he has never called or met him. He and Bobby's mother met when she was in her first year of university. Nicolay had just been released; worked as a cleaner there. They had a relationship, she became pregnant. They decided to rent a house and live together but the lack of money made Nicolay to steal again and then he was sent back to prison. He claims they both decided the future of their child, he agreed for Carter to adopt Bobby."

"And you believed him?"

"Yes, boss. He looks so innocent…plus the alibi."

"Ok, McGee, I believe you. Keep searching, I need to talk with Ducky.

"Boss…" Tim yelled seeing Gibbs turning and stepping toward the elevator. "Peterson said…um…"

"Speak, McGee!"

"He said that he had been in trouble again, a month ago. He and his ex-partner decided to rob a jewelry store but Nicolay changed his mind at the last minute. The other guy was pissed off and threatened him."

"And Peterson thinks he may have kept his word?"

"Yes, he says his partner doesn't care if he's in prison or not."

"Do we have a name?"

"Robert Cane."

"Find him!.. And both of you, good work." The last words were hidden behind one of his rare smiles.

Xxx

The lead agent stepped out the elevator and entered the autopsy room where Ducky had just finished the autopsy of Carter and Mr. Palmer was studying for his exam.

"Oh, Jethro, I was about to call you."

"What did you find, Duck?"

"To be honest, I don't think you'll like it. Actually, I had a case like this when…." The ME's words faded off as he caught Gibbs' annoyed look. "Doesn't matter. I think I've already told you about it anyway. The more important thing is that our Marine had lung cancer. It looks like he smoked a little bit more than he had to. According to his medical report he had just found out about it a week ago."

"A week ago?" Gibbs repeated, obviously having something in his mind. "Bobby went to his teacher's apartment a week ago. That's not a coincidence."

"Is there something else, Jethro?" Ducky's interest was piqued when his friend didn't run through the door, as usual. "Is it connected with our Anthony?"

Feeling that he was not wanted Palmer stood up and went somewhere, saying something about too much soda. Now the ME and the lead agent were all alone.

"I don't know, Ducky…" Gibbs sighed, sitting himself on the empty chair. "He pretends to be fine but it certainly doesn't look like that - you know what I mean. And right now I really don't know what to do to help him. I've tried to make Dinozzo speak with me so many times…."

"Jethro I told you what I thought the night when he confessed about being raped. I know a psychologist who will listen to him without judging Anthony. Have you ever thought about that perhaps he's scared to reveal his secrets to you, that he's scared that you'll ignore him just like his father did?"

"I'm not so sure, Duck. I don't think Tony will like the idea."

"Actually I have something in mind, my friend. Let's go talk with him tonight and if he reacts negatively we'll send my doctor friend to his apartment tomorrow morning."

"Ok, Duck, you win. See you at six thirty" Waving his hand Gibbs got up and moved towards the door,

"And Jethro, try to get some sleep. You need a rest." Ducky stated loudly but the only response he got was the sound of the door snapping shut.

Xxx

Entering the bullpen Gibbs heard his other two agents talking about Tony while waiting for him. He made his trick with the phone and overheard their conversation.

"…Ok, McGee, I confess I'm feeling guilty about yesterday. I just wanted a reaction, from _our_ Tony, didn't know that a simple joke would cause so much stress to him…."

"Neither did I." McGee added quietly. "Do you know what, Ziva? I think we should try to spend some normal time with him. You know what I mean - movies, popcorn, silly talks. I think that since all this happened we're behaving… well, weird and he does the same with us. If we react as always, maybe…"

But McGee didn't have the chance to finish his sentence as a distinct chill ran down his spine. _This day just keeps getting better, _he thought as he briefly grimaced before turning around. "Director Vance." McGee smiled.

"Agent McGee, Agent David, Agent Gibbs. "Vance greeted. "I need to talk to you."

"It's not good, is it?" Ziva asked directly.

"Well, it depends."

"On what?" Gibbs asked annoyed.

"I've heard about Agent Dinozzo…" the director began but was cut off by Ziva.

"Are you firing him?" the woman barked in a threatening voice, hoping the director didn't know about how drunk Tony was.

"No, even though I'd be glad to do so…" Vance answered with a meaningful glare that said that the next person who cut off him would be the fired one, "…but I have to give your case to another team. Right now Dinozzo is too affected by it, and you three are exhausted. I recommend you take the rest of the week off."

"You want us to stay home, while the life of a little boy is at stake?" Ziva could not believe what she was hearing.

"First, agent David, Willson's team is taking the case and they'll find the boy. Second, today is Thursday, you will only be off for a day."

"If we don't count the weekend, when we would have to work too, at least doing paper work." McGee joined Ziva's protest.

"The next person who says something will be off forever!" Vance finally growled, obviously annoyed by the agents. _"What's wrong with them?" he thought. "Anyone would be happy to have an extra day off and they're arguing." _

"Fire me if you wish, Director, but I'm not taking the rest of the week off," coolly Gibbs stared Vance down. He'd been standing there, trying to estimate the pluses and minuses of the situation, and could only come to one conclusion. "That boy means something to Tony so he means something to us too. My apologies, Leroy, for taking the fate of a little kid personally."

Eyes narrowed, Vance thought for a moment before finally agreeing. "Okay, you win. But if I see Dinozzo can't handle the situation I'm giving the case to another team."

"Don't worry, Director." Despite the circumstances Gibbs had total faith in his team and he put that faith in every word.

"That's easier said than done, agent Gibbs."

Xxx

Tony woke up around lunch from his nightmares. It didn't matter how much he drank, or how exhausted he was, there were always nightmares. Once again, the only thing on his mind was finding Morris.

Standing up he became aware of the mess around him - the apartment was literally covered up by dirty clothes, unwashed plates, empty bottles and pizza boxes. His thoughts were cut off by a strange feeling in his gut – he was hungry, something that hadn't happened for weeks. He opened the fridge only to find nothing in it. "Anthony, you better start shopping more often." He grabbed his keys and headed toward the nearest supermarket, cleaning could wait.

Xxx

"You don't have any right to keep me here!" Sitting alone in an interrogation room, Robert Cane yelled at the observation window. Ziva and McGee were on the other side of the glass, waiting for their boss.

"I bet that piece of crap isn't innocent." Ziva hissed.

"I bet that too," McGee answered. "But the question here is if he kidnapped Bobby."

"It's time to find that out!" Gibbs barked, entering the room. "So tell me, Mr. Cane, were you pissed off when Peterson told you he didn't want to steal from the store?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Cane returned the harsh tone.

"Really? Cuz your friend claims something else."

"HE'S LYING!"

"I think you're the one who is not telling the truth, Mr. Cane. I think you kidnapped Peterson's boy to make him cooperate with you."

"You know nothing, agent Gibbs!"

Gibbs' nerves reached their breaking point and he grabbed the suspect and pushed him against the wall. "Listen to me you son of a bitch, if something happens to that boy I promise you my face will be the last thing you'll see before your execution."

Struggling to catch his breath Cane seemed to be scared of Gibbs. His little play was over now. "Ok, ok," he yelled. Gibbs released him and shoved him back onto his chair. "I've got Bobby, but he escaped a day ago. I haven't the faintest idea where he may be now."

"Where did you keep him?"

Not hearing anything Gibbs pressed the other man one more time. "ANSWER!"

"In… in a warehouse." Digging deep into his pocket he pulled out a crumpled piece of old newspaper. "That's the address." Cane handed it to Gibbs , there was an address written on its back.

xxx

6.30 pm – Gibbs, Ziva and McGee were standing in front of Tony's apartment block, waiting for the other two members to join them. Soon Ducky and Abby drove up in a taxi and once the ME paid, they all went in. Walking up the hall they could already hear the blare of the tv from Tony's apartment. It seemed he was watching "Magnum" again. Gibbs had knocked twice before the sound turned down and the SFA opened the door. Wearing his Ohio state sweatshirt, with disheveled hair and somewhat bloodshot green eyes, it was obvious that he had a hangover.

"Hey, Tony!" Abby hugged him tightly and the agent took a few steps back trying to keep his balance.

"Easy, Abs," Gibbs scolded the goth.

"Wow, I didn't expect so many people. Sorry guys, I've already drunk all the beer." Tony tried to make a joke, while the others were entering the living room. Five pairs of eyes were assessing his untidy, messy apartment. Normally as immaculate and put together as Tony himself it now looked like a bomb had hit it.

"You're lucky, I've just been to the supermarket," he announced opening the fridge. Tony took out another pizza box, this time it was full, and put it on the table.

"Hey, Tony, you have 'Avatar'. Can I borrow it, please?" McGee was overjoyed when he saw the newest DVD in Tony's collection.

"Hands down, McFiction! It's mine."

"How are you, my boy?" Ducky began the conversation that had to be done.

"I'm great, Ducky. No need to worry." Fake smile firmly plastered on again, Tony caught the disbelief on everybody's faces. "Well, the headache isn't very pleasant. But I've just drunk my special juice for a hangover, so I'll be in excellent condition in an hour."

"You mean that green, disgusting stuff that you drank once in the office," Ziva added.

"Yeah, Ziva. You should try it sometime. "

Gibb's let loose his growing impatience and he head-slapped his agent to end the conversation.

"Hey, what was that for?"

"Coming drunk to the office." After a few seconds of awkward silence the lead agent continued, "Tony, sit." Gibbs nodded towards the coach.

Mumbling something to himself, Tony did what he was asked to do, while the rest of the team also awkwardly found seats. Gazing in his empty eyes Gibbs began speaking again.

"Look Tony, none of us can imagine what you are going through. But we are still your friends, your family, it's time to allow us to help you."

"No, boss, you look!" Tony said sharply. There was no hint of the false smile on his face. "I don't want your help."

"Why not?" Abby sobbed.

"Cuz I don't deserve it, Abs." He hid his face in his hands.

Abby couldn't hold her tears anymore. No matter that she had gotten used to Tony's macho behavior, she had always known that under that shell there was a sensitive person who had suffered a lot of things in the past. But the goth wasn't prepared to face the real Anthony Dinozzo right now. When the first tear cropped up she ran into the bathroom, staying there for a couple of minutes.

Despite being Tony's partner for almost six years Ziva had never seen the man crying, his eyes so empty, as if he had given up on life. All she wanted to do was hug him, something she had never done before, something that was more precious than words. Ziva David was a trained Mossad officer, used to not showing her feelings, but right now she didn't care. "You deserve much more Tony, do not forget that." She finally found the words and placed her hands on his shoulders.

"Anthony, listen to me, my boy." Ducky began, sitting near Tony. The agent lifted his head and stared straight in the ME's eyes. "It's high time you allowed somebody to help you. And right now, there are a number of people who want to do that. You have a family, Anthony, no matter it's not blood related."

"But what if I disappoint that family, like I did my father? What if I betray your trust, boss? " Tony mumbled, gazing at the floor.

The blank despair in these words tore Gibbs' heart. He had always known that the boy in front of him had been doing everything he could to please him, to won his respect. Tony had never said it aloud but it was clear to everyone that Gibbs was like a father to him. The lead agent had never said it too, but they all knew that the SFA was like a son to him.

Gibbs lifted Tony's head and looked in his eyes, then he said the words which he should have said years ago. He'd tried once, when Tony had the plague, but couldn't find the courage to say them. This time it was different.

"Son, look at me." Gibbs put one hand on Tony's shoulder. "I'll always have your six. No matter what you have done or what you'll do, you'll always have my respect. My wife and my daughter hold a special place in my heart, a place that nobody will take, but you have one too, next to theirs. And that won't change, you have to believe it. There's nothing bad in accepting help, there's nothing you have to be ashamed of. You got that, Dinozzo?"

All the team members stayed silent for a moment, even Abby who had returned just in time to hear those words. After a minute of processing all that Gibbs had said Tony finally opened his mouth again.

"I've got it, boss. I just… it doesn't matter."

"It does, Tony."

"Boss, I don't think I can handle this if I stay alone here. There… there are moments when all I want is a glass of booze, then one more and one more, until I finally can fall asleep. And sometimes all I hope for is not to wake up at all anymore," Tony confessed hesitantly.

"I'll come here and take care of you!" Abby volunteered, all she wanted was to find a way to help her best friend.

"No, Abs." Gibbs looked at Tony. "I'm thinking about you coming to my place."

"Boss, I don't want to be any trouble. There is no need…" Tony's words were cut off by Gibb's sharp tone.

"What have I just said, Dinozzo?"

"Right…Okay, boss."

"That's better. Now there's one more thing I need you to do." Gibbs stopped talking and allowed Ducky to do his job.

"Anthony, I strongly recommend you talk with my friend, Dr. Hills."

"And I suppose this Dr. Hills is… a psychiatrist? Tony asked.

"That's right. But he is a good friend of mine. I can guarantee you that all you say to him won't be heard by anybody else."

"Ok," Tony agreed. "On one condition. If I meet with this doctor, and I do not promise I'll talk to him, I'll be allowed to go back to work tomorrow."

"Deal," Gibbs nodded, turning on the television, grabbing a slice of pizza. Taking his cue, everybody settled in and watched the adventures of Thomas Magnum.

said

Xxx

Next morning Tony was sleeping in Gibbs' living room, nightmares disturbing his mind again. The agent was mumbling something unintelligible, his forehead covered in sweat.

"Dinozzo!" Gibbs drawled loudly, entering the room. Unfortunately, it seemed the younger man was sunk so deep in his nightmare that his boss's words caused nothing more than a few trembles.

_xxx_

_Tony was sitting in a dark corner, the smell of his own urine and vomit was all over the place. He was scared, confused, Morris had finally succeeded and Tony had believed that no one was looking for him anymore._

"_You aren't worth the effort, Anthony." Morris laughed at him._

_Then suddenly the frightened man in his head changed to the image of a little boy pleading for his parents - a kid who had suffered so much pain in his short life. Oh God, how much in common these two people had._

_Xxx_

"Bobby!" Bolting upright, Tony screamed loudly, fighting with an invisible enemy that wasn't there. Seeing the blatant confusion on his face, Gibbs helped Tony, giving him time to clear his thoughts.

Running a shaky hand through his hair and across his face, Tony steadied himself with a few deep breaths before speaking. "Boss, we have to find him."

"We will, Tony." Gibbs encouraged him, putting a calloused hand on the younger man's trembling shoulder. "Do you want to tell me why you are so connected with the kid?'

"I don't know, boss. Maybe he reminds me of somebody."

"You?"

"Yeah." Tony nodded.

Xxx

After thirty minutes both Tony and Gibbs were having their breakfast. After leaving Tony to take a shower and change his clothes the lead agent had decided to make an omelet. It was something he had used to make almost every morning during the week, but not once since his family's death.

"Boss, I promise you I'll see that freaking doctor but first we have to find Bobby." Tony was trying to make his boss cancel the appointment which would be in an hour. Doctor Hill was scheduled to be in Gibb's place at 8.30 am.

"Nope." The answer was a monosyllable.

"Hell Gibbs, I'll see him but it's not the time right now."

"You remember the deal?" Arguing with Dinozzo wasn't an easy task but Gibbs knew he had to win that battle.

"I do, unfortunately."

"Then we're waiting for the doctor, you're talking with him and then we both are going to the office. David and McGee have to be there already. They'll trace the last lead. You got that?"

"Damn it!" Having lost the argument Tony stood up and went to the basement. Gibbs decided to leave his SFA alone for a while.

xxx

**Please, good people, review, and give your oppinion, it doesn't matter if it's good or bad. I really want to be a better writer and I try to learn from my mistakes. Your comments mean so much to me. They do inspire me :)**


	9. Chapter 9

_**Hey there :) Here's the next chapter, I hope you'd like it. There's only one left, but I'm still writing it so you'll probbaly have to wait a few days more than usually. I'll try to give that story a proper ending :)**_

_**A huge hug to my Beta (HUG)**_

_**I own nothing ;(**_

_**Chapter 8**_

_**A new beginning **_

After the confrontation with his boss Tony went down into Gibbs' basement. It was a little after 7.30 and there was almost an hour until the doctor arrived. An hour which Tony could have spent in searching for Bobby, not stuck in Gibbs' house. The young agent took the sandpaper which was on the table and began sanding his boss' boat. _Huh, this really helps,_ he thought as he methodically stroked with the grain. After ten minutes he felt extremely tired, dropping the now dusty paper on the nearby bench. Tony hadn't expected that such a simple activity would consume so much energy.

Sitting on the nearest step he remembered how many times he had been there, trying to overcome some of his constant problems. Idly looking around the room his eyes spotted a bottle of bourbon and immediately the only thing in his head was grabbing that bottle and forgetting all his problems one more time. He stood up and went to the desk where the bottle was laying, tempting him. Putting a hand on the cool glass Tony recalled the events from the previous night. _"…You have a family…" _These words were now echoing in his head, making him get angrier.

"GO TO THE HELL!" he yelled, throwing the bottle to shatter on the other side of the room, broken in a thousand pieces.

"Tony, are you all right?" Gibbs yelled, running to the basement. Pausing at the bottom of the steps, he could see Tony standing near his desk; the young man was shaking. Then the lead agent spotted the broken bottle and sighed before making his way over. "Hey, that's ok, come on." Gibbs gently guided Tony over to sit back down on the step.

"Sorry, boss," the SFA muttered.

"Never apologize, Dinozzo. It's a sign of weakness."

"Yeah, I know, boss. I just…" Tony hesitated, "…I was about to drink that… to use the only way I know to forget, but… I couldn't, boss."

"I see that, Tony. And I'm proud of you."

"But what if I'm not so strong the next time?"

"You will be, son. You can handle this. Besides, I'll get rid of all the alcohol in the house."

"What about if it's too late? What about if I can't stay sober for a long time? I don't want to be a drunk, boss."

"You're not, Tony. And if you finally allow us to help you, you never will be." Saying this, Gibbs stood up followed by Tony. The older man took a look at his agent and noticed that his expensive clothes were all covered in dust. "Dinozzo…" Gibbs head slapped him, "…did you touch my boat?"

"Actually yes, boss. Sanding it really helps," Tony grinned.

"If you touch it one more time you'll be the one doing all the paperwork for a month. You got that?"

Tony nodded.

"Ok then. Now, go and change. Dr. Hills is going to be here in 15 minutes."

Xxx

Back in the office, McGee and Ziva were trying to figure out where Bobby could have gone. Unfortunately all their ideas and leads ended with no success.

"McGee, we must come up with something, soon." Ziva said looking at her watch. "Gibbs is going to be here any minute and I suspect he will be pissed off."

"You still think the meeting will not be successful, don't you?" McGee questioned, reading some files.

"Well, there's one thing Tony and I share and it's the fact that we both hate crazy doctors," Ziva hissed looking at her watch again.

After a few more minutes of silence, staring at the monitor, McGee's facial expression suddenly changed from frustration to hope.

"Hey, I think I've just found something," he announced. "Look…" he turned on the plasma, "…a video camera has pictured Bobby taking a bus, last night."

"Can you figure out which bus exactly?"

"Of course I can. Just wait a second." McGee typed the bus number in some kind of data base, clicked his computer mouse a few times and in the next moment there was a schedule on the screen.

"So, the boy is in Arlington?"

"It seems yes."

"But why? He has no relatives or acquaintances there."

"Actually, Ziva, I have an idea. Let me check." McGee hurried off and entered the elevator, heading towards Abby.

Xxx

After changing his clothes Tony reluctantly went to the living room to join his boss already sitting there. Barely had he made two steps in when he heard the doorbell ringing. Gibbs silently stood up and opened the door to greet his guests.

"Ah, Jethro, please allow me to introduce you to my friend, doctor Derek Hills." Ducky nodded towards a silver haired man in his fifties with a friendly smile on his face. "Derek, this is agent Jethro Gibbs of the NCIS."

"Nice to meet you, agent Gibbs," the doctor shook Gibbs' hand.

"Nice to meet you too, doc." The lead agent gave Hills one of his rare smiles. It seemed he had liked this man the moment he saw him. Gibbs made two steps back allowing Ducky and his friend to enter the house and then led them into the living room.

"This must be agent Dinozzo," the doctor smiled upon seeing the tall sandy haired man anxiously pacing the room.

"Correct! You win ten points, doc." Tony said with a not so friendly tone.

"Anthony, this is Dr. Derek Hills, he's an old friend of mine." Ducky presented the other man. "Now, if you'll excuse us, Jethro and I have a little bit of work to do." Both men had barely turned to leave when Derek stopped them.

"Actually, I prefer you to stay," he said. "If Anthony doesn't mind, of course."

"As you wish." The young agent shrugged his shoulders. "You'll tell them everything so it doesn't matter to me if they stay or not… And please, doc, call me Tony."

"Actually Tony, anything which you tell me will be held in the strictest confidence, if you do not wish anybody else to be here that is fine. They will never hear what you say to me. The reason why I asked them to stay is that in certain cases it is sometimes best to let those closest to you know what is happening with you and why. The choice is yours."

Tony stared at the carpet while the men patiently waited.

"They can stay."

"Very well," Dr. Hills smiled as he took a seat and gestured to Tony to sit opposite him. Ducky and Gibbs settled close by. "Why don't you start from the beginning," he said while taking a more comfortable position.

"Well, I was going to the coffee shop when some crazy man stopped me, telling me I was someone from his high school, someone named Greg. In the next moment there was something that was covering my mouth. When I woke up I was laying on a dirty floor…"

"Ok, agent Dinozzo, but I mean for you to start from the moment you did what you did in high school."

"Oh… it was long ago. I don't remember very well and…" the rest of his sentence was cut off by Gibbs and a head slap.

"Don't lie, Dinozzo. We both know that you remember."

"Right, boss, I remember…unfortunately." Tony suddenly changed his voice, thousands of flashbacks in his head; the same ugly things which he remembered while being held by Morris.

"Tony, tell us what happened," Hills encouraged him.

"We… we decided to joke with Morris. We took him home, tied him to his parent's bed and painted this fucking symbol on his arm…" He stopped and touched his own shoulder. "…It seems that our joke did a lot of harm…but it wasn't supposed to end like that." Tony shook his head, a tear of regret trailed down his cheek and the young man hid his face with his hands.

"Tony, look at me." The doctor said lifting Tony's chin. "It's high time you stopped hiding and face the truth. You did what you did and this cannot be changed. I won't say you must forget but you should learn how to live with it. From what Ducky said to me about you I judge that you're a really intelligent young man who has had to deal with many bad things in his history. I know that you don't like talking about these bad moments but I think you should to let them go."

"But, doc… I can't." Tony mumbled.

"I think you're just scared to reveal all your secrets. It will be good to remove that mask you're hiding behind from time to time. You should let the people see the real you, not only the surface."

"I've told that to myself so many times, but it doesn't work very well in practice. The last time I was _me_ a lot of people got hurt."

"You mean Jeanne?" Gibbs asked. He had been staying quietly in the corner 'til that moment.

Tony only nodded.

"Look, I have an idea." Hills started again, he could tell that though this was a good opening but the agent needed time. "You visit me twice a week, let's say on Monday and Friday, and we can talk about everything and anything you want, and I promise you that I won't say a word to Ducky or your boss unless you want. Deal?"

Tony stood motionless for a moment, thinking about the offer. "Deal." He nodded.

"Good" Dr. Hills stood, "I'll be waiting for you on Monday at 6.00 pm. And don't skip our appointment or I'll come here." The Doctor grinned, a mischievous smile on his face.

Xxx

After the meeting Tony, Gibbs and Ducky went to NCIS. The ride in Gibbs' car was silent and for the lead agent it seemed like they had been driving for ages. Finally the elevator doors opened and he and his SFA stepped out, leaving Ducky who pushed another button and went to his autopsy room.

"What do we have?" Tony asked Ziva, hoping for something that could help them.

"Well, actually we found something," she answered, her eyes taking in how tired and worn Tony looked.

"Ok, tell me what."

"I don't know."

"You don't know?" Gibbs barked, confused.

"Yes."

"David, I don't have time for games." Gibbs' patience was reaching its highest level. At that moment the elevator doors opened and McGee ran to them.

"Boss, Bobby is in Arlington," he announced

"I was about to tell you the same thing," Ziva said annoyed.

"And I've just found out why," McGee continued. "Bobby's grandmother used to live there." He moved over to his computer terminal to access more files.

"I thought he didn't have any living relatives," Tony questioned.

"This is his blood grandmother. Peterson's mother… Oh…"

"What _'oh'_, McGee?" Ziva asked.

"She's dead. Murdered 2 weeks ago. The case is identical to Carter's. I think I know who did it, boss."

"So do I, McGee," Gibbs replied.

"I'm going to Arlington," Tony stated quietly.

"Dinozzo, local PD will pick him up. He'll be here in half an hour." Gibbs tried to stop him.

"That wasn't a question, boss, I'm going. Bobby must be terrified and finding that the last person in his family is dead won't help him. I'm going." Tony had already grabbed his keys, badge and gun and was waiting for the elevator.

"Dinozzo!" Gibbs barked. "You're not going anywhere alone. McGee, David, grab your gear!"

Xxx

"The four agents had been traveling for nearly 15 minutes, and with Gibbs behind the steering wheel they were almost in Arlington.

"What's the address, McGoo?" Tony asked, looking at his GPS. McGee gave him the exact location and the SFA typed it in to find the house.

"Boss, you should take the next left turn. It's the third house in that alley."

Despite of the fact that McGee had informed the local police about the boy 45 minutes ago the agents were the first to arrive. Tony was out fast, moving towards the front door and first to see Bobby sitting on the steps. Besides being tired, hair messy and pale faced, the boy looked pretty good. The SFA slowed so he wouldn't spook him and crouched in front of the boy.

"Hey," he said, smiling. Usually he wasn't very good with children but something in this one made him feel more comfortable, self-confident. "I'm very special agent Anthony Dinozzo and I work for NCIS," he grinned. "Do you know what that is?"

"Naval Criminal Investigative Service," Bobby answered carefully, clearly wondering what was going on. "My father… my stepfather told me about NCIS."

"You're a smart boy," Gibbs said, messing the boy's hair more.

"This is my boss, special agent Gibbs," Tony presented the lead agent.

"He's your boss but you're the very special one?" Bobby wondered, visibly confused.

These words made both Gibbs and Tony laugh loudly.

"It's complicated," Tony added. "Meet my probie – agent McGee - and the real probie – agent David." Tony nodded towards the other members of the team. "Look, Bobby, we're here to help you. We know everything about your dad and the bad man who kidnapped you. You're safe now."

"But I want to meet my grandmother," the boy cried. "The… the bad guy told me about my real father. He said that my grandmother was trying to find me too."

"You can't, Bobby. Look, the bad man found your grandmother and…uh…"

"He killed her." The kid finished Tony's sentence. "Because of me," he mumbled.

"Hey, kid, it's not your fault. Your father, he just… uh… messed with the wrong people, and you, your stepfather and grandmother had to pay the price. But he still loves you…C'mon, let's go."

"But I have nowhere to go." Bobby sobbed once again.

"You're coming with me. It's Friday, so social services will appear in two days. Actually I'm staying in his house," Tony pointed at Gibbs, who was talking on the phone. "He's a good guy, you'll like him; he has a boat in his basement."

"But you're a stranger. Plus, you don't even know me, why are you trying to help me?"

"Yeah, good point. I think I just see someone I know in you. You don't have to stay with me, if you want I'll contact social services now. I know some people there who can take care of you until Monday." Tony looked really disappointed while saying that.

"I like you," Bobby admitted. "I'll stay with you."

Xxx

Back in NCIS the four agents and Bobby had just returned to the bullpen when someone with black clothes and makeup gave Tony a huge, tight hug. If there hadn't been Gibbs to steady him Tony would certainly have fallen.

"Easy, Abs." Gibbs smiled at the goth.

"Sorry, Tony, I'm just so glad you're better and… oh, you must be Bobby," Abby had just seen the little boy standing behind Ziva.

"Bobby, meet my friend, Abby. She's a forensics expert. I know she looks scary but believe me she's not," Tony explained and Abby crouched down to face the kid. His green eyes and smile reminded her of Tony.

"Abs, why don't you find our little friend something to eat and a cup of juice? I'll meet you in Ducky's… uh… office in half an hour." Gibbs said with an unusual mild tone, the one he kept for children.

"No problem, boss-man. Come on, I'll show you my friends in the lab." Abby and Bobby both disappeared in the elevator.

"What are you doing, Dinozzo?" Gibbs changed his voice and glared at Tony.

"Boss, we can't leave him with social services. Do you know what happens with children like him?"

"Yeah, Tony, I know. But you can't just take a boy into my home and take care of him."

"Oh, I see the problem. Ok, then we're going to my apartment," Tony answered, furious.

"I didn't mean that. You both can stay. But, Tony, you'll have to deal with social services, it doesn't matter if you like it or not. Those are the rules."

"I know, boss. I think I can come up with some solution 'til Monday. I… I just have to think a little bit. There has to be something I can do."

"You're not alone, Dinozzo, you know that. We all will think of something."

Xxx

"Hey Bobby, do you like Chinese? I ordered some for lunch but I haven't had a chance to eat it." Abby asked the boy while they were both on their way to the cafeteria.

"Really? I love it. My… my daddy cooks… cooked Chinese. It's pretty tasty," Bobby answered. It seemed Tony was right – Abby wasn't scary at all. In his opinion the goth was kind, funny, and a little strange, but he liked her. "Abby, can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can, kid."

"Is… is it true that my dad… well you know, that he isn't exactly my dad. I mean, this guy, Gibbs, told me that I have another father, but he claims it's complicated."

"Look, sweetie…" Abby began explaining, handing the boy a cup of orange juice. "…it's not important who your biological father is but what your heart tells you. According to me, a _father_ can be only the man who loves and cares for you."

"I...I think so too." Bobby admitted. " Even though my stepdad used to beat me I know he loved me. But the things were hard…since mum died. But, Abby, what if my real dad wants to take me with him now? I don't want to be with him…they died because of him. I…I don't want to go with this man." The wide, green eyes were shining, full of tears."

"You don't have to…Look, this is my card, you can call me whenever you need." Abby thrust her hand into her pocket and then handed it to the scared little boy."

"You have a weird name." Bobby announced, grinning. Abby blinked at the sudden change of topic and apparent emotional turnaround. It was so familiar she had to remind herself that it was a young boy in front of her and not a full grown man.

"Hey, it's rude to tell somebody something like that."

"Sorry… It's just funny."

"Don't worry kiddo. I know someone that thinks so too," Abby confessed.

"Who?"

"Uh… it's Tony. He has a huge sense of humor."

"Abby, can I ask you one more thing?"

"Now's the right time, ask whatever you want."

"Your friend, agent Dinozzo, he said I remind him of someone. Do you know… uh… who I remind him of?"

"I think he was talking about himself. But I can't tell you more, you should ask him."

"Please, I won't tell anyone." Bobby pleaded. Once she heard his little voice and saw his sincere eyes Abby couldn't resist but still hesitated in answering. "I promise," he added.

"Ok, here is the short version. Agent Dinozzo had a tough childhood, just like you have. Moreover, a really bad guy kidnapped him some time ago."

"Like me?"

"Yeah, like you. He's been having a not so good time since then. Sorry kid, that's all I can tell you.

Xxx

"Duck, how's our little friend?" Gibbs asked the ME, messing Bobby's now clean hair. Before Abby and the kid went to the autopsy room, the goth had helped him to change his clothes with some she had in her lab. Why she had them, no one was really sure.

"Oh, he seems pretty well, Jethro. Despite having some scars he is in perfect condition. You're such a brave boy, my lad," he said gently to Bobby. "Jethro, can you… um help me?" the ME asked, wanting to meet Gibbs in a more private place. Taking a few steps outside they both moved so they were standing outside the autopsy room next to the elevator.

"What's going on, Duck?"

"Well, I was wondering what's up in Anthony's mind.

"Honestly, Duck, I have no idea. I'm a little concerned about Dinozzo. He seems to be obsessed with the boy."

"It's not so strange, my friend, these two have so much in common. They share almost identical experiences so I'm not surprised that our Anthony sees himself in the boy. Actually, I think Bobby is a young version of our agent. I wouldn't be surprised if Tony were to reveal some things to the child instead of Dr. Hills."

"Maybe you're right, but what will happen when social services takes Bobby away? I don't think Dinozzo would be able to bear one more hole in his soul."

"I hope not, Jethro. For Anthony's sake, I hope not.

Xxx

In the late afternoon Gibbs, Tony and Bobby left NCIS and went to Gibbs' house. The other team members had insisted on going with them but the lead agent had refused. Honestly, all he wanted was a little bit of quiet time alone with his boat.

"Dinozzo, I'm in the basement, call me if you need me." Gibbs announced after dinner.

"What is he doing down there?" Bobby wondered, looking at Tony.

"Boss is building a boat down there," Tony explained as he cleared up the dishes.

"A boat? But how will he bring it to the ocean?"

"Well kiddo, that's the big question. There are some interesting theories about that. I've a bet for $50 that his boat will never be in the water. Abby says that boss has a secret gate in his basement and he will use it to take the boat out. Ziva claims that the roof can be removed and a chopper will carry it to the ocean. McFear and Ducky refused to bet with us."

"I like the idea with the roof more… Maybe a UFO can help your boss instead of the chopper." Bobby smirked, finishing his ice-cream.

"Come on, it's bed time."

Xxx

"Are you ready for bed?" Tony asked after knocking on the bathroom door. He had taken a set of Kelly's old pajamas and given it to the boy. Even though they had been for a girl, Bobby didn't seem to mind using them for a while. He'd gratefully taken the sleeping clothes and gone to the bathroom to brush his teeth. After waiting for a short time, which seemed like ages for the tired agent, he'd decided to check on the kid. "HEY BUDDY, YOU OK IN THERE?" After not receiving any answer to his first question he'd yelled, making sure that Bobby was able to hear him.

"Yeah." Tony finally heard a diffident answer, then a click as the door opened and the boy came out.

"What's bothering you?" the agent asked.

"I…I'm just a little scared of sleeping alone in the room," Bobby confessed embarrassed.

"Do you want me stay in your room?"

"No…Yes."

"Hey…" the agent smiled, "…I'm scared of the dark too, so there's nothing you have to be embarrassed about. C'mon, let's get some sleep."

"You know what agent Dinozzo…uh, Tony? This reminds me of my favorite movie. Me and daddy used to watch it every 4th of July."

After those words Tony's face lit up with a sincere, huge smile that hadn't been seen since the kidnapping. _"I love this kid,"_ the agent said to himself.

Xxx

As promised Tony slept in Bobby's room. Though squished rather awkwardly in the too small armchair, the moment he settled down the agent felt asleep. As usual his dream wasn't about good things. Once again Tony was back in the dark place, tied to a pipe, with Morris.

"_Now, it's time for you to keep your part of the deal, Anthony. I gave you your water, now I want something too." Tony could see the satisfied face of Morris, while he was stepping closer to him, removing his jeans' belt._

Then his nightmare was exchanged with another one.

_He was lying on the dirty, bloody, stinking floor. Morris had taken what he wanted, then left the humiliated agent there alone. All that Tony wanted in that particular moment was someone to end his suffering, his life. He had given up, there was no hope that someone would find him. Moreover he wasn't sure if he wanted to be safe, not after all the shame_…

"NO…NO…NO…" the agent was pleading loudly over and over. Terrified, a trembling Bobby stood by his chair not sure what to do. The yelling had woken him up from his own unsettled sleep only to find the strong, handsome agent, who had saved him, was so vulnerable now. Before he could do anything the door opened and the other agent rushed in. Tony's yelling had woken Gibbs too.

"Tony," the lead agent rubbed the younger man's arm, inadvertently causing more pain for the SFA. Gibbs had entirely forgotten about the curved symbol carved into his skin. Once aware of his mistake, he pulled back his hand and reverted to what he knew would work. "Hey, Dinozzo!" Gibbs barked. Only a second later Tony's eyes opened widely. It took him one more minute to come back to reality entirely.

"Sorry, boss," he apologized quickly, voice still blurred by sleep, and then he saw Bobby's scared face. Honestly, both agents had forgotten about the boy for a couple of minutes. "_Hell!_' he thought. "Hey, buddy, sorry about that. I didn't mean to scare you. It's just… a nightmare."

"Dinozzo, if you're okay, I'm going to bed again." Gibbs announced, trying to give Bobby and Tony some privacy. If it wasn't for the kid, the lead agent would have stayed there for the rest of the night.

"Sure, boss. Sorry for waking you." A second after the door was closed Tony stood up and sat on the edge of the bed, wrapping the little boy in a gentle hug.

"Tony, can I ask you something?" Bobby whispered, still shocked.

"Sure."

"What…what happened to you?"

Tony didn't answer for a while. He wasn't prepared for that kind of question; he could never be. But there was something in the child, something that they both shared, besides being both kidnapped, and that thing was strong. Almost against his will, he found himself revealing his worst nightmares to a 7-year-old boy.

"I was kidnapped, by… by a bad man. Look, when I was in high school me and some friends of mine did… let's say we did a very, very bad thing, to a boy who was in our class. It was supposed to be just a simple joke, but it ended badly. Now this boy is a grown man, looking for revenge. He…" a tear dropped from the strong, handsome agent's eyes. Finally, he was saying things that neither Gibbs, nor Dr. Hills, could make him admit. The emotions in his head were like a powerful wave finally reaching the shore.

On the other side of the door, Gibbs was listening carefully. He didn't mean to overhear, but when he started opening the door, just to ask Tony if he needed anything, the lead agent sensed something was up. He was glad that the young man, who was like a son to him, had finally started to open up.

"…he killed my friends and kidnapped me, tortured me. I think his plan was to kill me too, or to make me kill myself. To be honest, Bobby, he almost succeeded, I was about to accomplish his plan. I was laying there, hopeless, helpless, trying to imagine the look on my friend's faces when they found out what I had done, when they saw me there, all… injured…" Tony paused in his confession. "Do you believe in angels?".

"I…I think so." Bobby answered, his eyes starting to fill with tears. "I believe I have two of them now. Since mummy died she has been my guardian angel. While I was with the bad guy… my bad guy, I could hear her saying that I would be ok and I believed her. If it wasn't for my mom I wouldn't have escaped. Now, I think that both she and daddy will protect me. Do you have one?"

"Yeah… I think I have one, an old friend of mine. When I was about to die, she was the one who didn't allow me to, who inspired me to live. Kate was a really good person, but I… I let her down, like everyone around me. I was supposed to protect her but… she died, and I couldn't do anything."

There was a moment of silence, both Tony and Bobby thinking about the people they loved, remembering them. On the other side of the door Gibbs was staying still. This was one of the rare moments in his life when he didn't know what to do. On the one hand the lead agent didn't want to interrupt Tony, knowing that his presence would end the SFA's honesty, but on the other one, he wanted to go in, to make him understand that Kate's death wasn't his fault. His friends didn't died because of him, no matter what he thought. Unaccustomed indecision froze him and all he could do was stand there, motionless, and listen.

"Tony, I don't think that your friends died because of you. I don't think that your friends think so either. You're a really good man." Bobby looked up at him with absolute trust and faith.

The agent only smiled, ending the conversation. Tony didn't know why, but he believed the boy. That night, he finally realized something. There was no way for him to change the past, if he was guilty or not, but the new day was offering him a new life. A life that could be either better or worse and its direction depended only on him. In that moment he much regretted that he had chosen the bad way and promised himself that when he woke up in the morning he would start over. It may never be completely gone, but agent Anthony Dinozzo felt a weight ease off his mind.

xxx

**_I'm looking forward to reading your review, I really need then right now. The more of them I read the more inspired I am :)_**

**_Thanks to all who read my story (hug)_**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi everybody :) Sorry it took me so long but it's here now, the last chapter. Honestly, I'm really sad it's over, but everything has its end :)**

**I do hope you'd like the final**

**Again, thanks to my Beta for the help (hug)**

**As always, I do own nothing ;(**

_**Chapter 9**_

Tony continued lying near Bobby all night, the sound of the child's even breathing oddly soothing but nevertheless he couldn't fall asleep anymore. Bits and pieces of his life were going in and out of his mind making his head ache. He'd started off with wondering when his life had turned into a mess, then he thought back to when he was a boy and asked himself if his father had ever stayed near him in the night. _"You're a big boy Anthony." _His father used to tell him. _"Dinozzos don't get scared by something like darkness!"_

Tony closed his eyes for one short moment then looked at the little boy curled up in a tight ball next to him, snuffling softly in his sleep. The feeling of protectiveness and care that he'd felt about the boy, starting even before he'd met him, confused the man greatly _"Hell, what is it about this kid that makes me feel that way?_" the agent wondered.

He shifted his eyes and looked at the clock – it was around 5.00 am. Yeah, the new day had just begun. Even though Tony was claimed to be a lazy man who slept a lot, the truth wasn't like that. Special agent Anthony Dinozzo was used to waking up at 5.00 am and not a minute later, even on the weekend. Maybe the only one who was used to waking up earlier was Gibbs.

The young man heard a noise coming from the kitchen and knew his boss was already up. Both his burgeoning headache and growling stomach made him quietly get up, careful not to disturb the sleeping child, put on the first thing he saw in his suitcase and go straight to the place where Gibbs was preparing breakfast.

"Morning boss… oh, pancakes." Tony grinned as he sauntered into the kitchen.

"Yep. I thought you two would be hungry… after last night."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I heard everything."

"Boss, I…"

"You don't have to say anything, Dinozzo." Gibbs cut off Tony.

"Thanks, boss"

After a while the breakfast was ready and served. Gibbs specially kept some of the pancakes for Bobby and put the rest on the table. Tony took two of them gratefully and happily sank his teeth into the syrup drenched treat while studiously avoiding eye contact with his boss.

The clink of cutlery and rattle of plates managed to substitute for conversation and once he was finished, and dishes washed, Tony went to check on Bobby only to find him still deep asleep. Pausing in the doorway it struck him how innocent the boy looked with slightly too long chestnut hair stuck out at all angles as he lay on one side curled up like a little baby, just like the agent did when he was able to sleep - before the kidnapping. He pushed away the sadness, anger and hurt that swept through him at what he had lost, at what Bobby had lost.

Closing the door silently he heard Gibbs speaking with someone. As he moved closer he figured out that the second voice belonged to Ducky. It was followed by a laugh and a weird sounding sentence. Huh, Ziva was there too. Entering the kitchen he saw that McGee and Abby were also visiting and the probie looked really annoyed.

"What's up, McGoo?" Tony grinned.

"I don't know Tony! Oh, my mistake, I do know – try to imagine Ziva and a car _together_! That woman is crazy, I swear."

"Oh, come on, you're such a baby. Abby and Ducky do not complain!" Ziva answered taking an empty cup and pouring herself some coffee.

"Yes Ziva, because they're too scared to say something. Isn't that right Abby?"

"Oh… I… I need to pee." With that flimsy excuse and a faint smile, the goth rushed out of the room.

"Hey, you two!" Tony head slapped them both. "A little quiet please. Bobby's still sleeping!"

"Um, I'm not." Bobby entered followed immediately by Abby who was vainly trying to smooth down his messy mop of hair before giving up and patting him on the shoulders and moving to sit back down He looked drowsy, but by the soppy looks on their faces Tony could tell that to Ziva and the goth he looked like a sweet little puppy.

"Are those pancakes?" His wide green eyes glimmered in anticipation. If he was surprised by the large number of people sitting in for breakfast he didn't show it.

"Yep, and they're all yours," Gibbs announced, taking another sip of coffee. Oh yeah, there was nothing better than homemade, strong coffee.

"Hey, Tony!" Abby jumped overjoyed. "I think it's time for a little change of wardrobe… for both of you. Why don't we go shopping and then maybe spend the afternoon somewhere?"

"I'll pass," Gibbs answered a little bit amused.

"Please… please boss-man." The goth pleaded like a little kid, then smiled.

"Damn it, Abs. When will I learn how to say no to you...? Ok, I'm coming."

Xxx

The rest of the Saturday went well… well, almost all of it. First, the whole team plus Bobby went shopping. Tony bought the boy some cool clothes Abby specially chose, then all of them walked and talked and played in the park. Like a huge family they spent a wonderful time together during which all their problems were gone, they were feeling so free, careless, just like kids. Around when the sun started going down and seeing how tired Bobby was, Tony and Gibbs insisted on going home.

"You know what?" Abby asked excited. "Why don't we all go back to your place and I'll cook dinner?"

"Abs, I… uh… I have something else to do," McGee mumbled.

"McGee!" Abby answered annoyed, smacking the agent "Your book isn't more important than your friends!"

"Errr… yeah… but…"

"There are no 'buts', McBook. You're coming." Tony barked, imitating Gibbs' harsh voice.

Xxx

On their way back the team visited the nearest supermarket, buying some things Abby needed for their meal. All bought, they drove to Gibbs' house where Abby shooed everybody but McGee and Ducky out of the kitchen so that she could 'create'. After two more hours the main meal was prepared and served. It was kind of a Bulgarian traditional dish the goth had eaten once while traveling around Eastern Europe.

The evening, like the rest of the day, went pretty well. Unfortunately, nothing good could stay so for a long in Tony's life.

"I'm going to change," the SFA announced, dabbing at the sauce on his white shirt.

"It's your turn to wash, Dinozzo."

Tony only grimaced going out of the room. Putting his hand on the handle, he twisted it. Opening the door, the agent saw something that made him freeze, his mind becoming stuck in a whirl of _nonononono_. He only came back to reality when he heard Gibbs' voice and felt his comfortable, calloused hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

Without answering the younger man stumbled forward a few steps, like he was on autopilot, and entered the room, followed by his boss. The sight in front of him was deeply disturbing. One whole wall was covered by photos of all of the team - every moment Tony had been having with Bobby and his friends since the time they had found the kid. Going closer the SFA spotted a note:

"_It's not over, Anthony, and it never will be. I'll take your soul piece by piece until there's nothing left from you to be taken."_

Suddenly everything went black and he collapsed, not feeling the distinct crack of his head on the hard wooden floor,

"DUCK, COME HERE, FAST!" Gibbs yelled. In a second the ME was there, followed by the rest of the team and the little boy. Seeing the situation, Abby covered Bobby's eyes with her hand and guided him out.

"I think he hit his head, Duck." These words were followed by Tony's moan and a moment after that Gibbs saw his agent's eyes open. "Stay still, Dinozzo."

"Anthony, do you know where you are?"

"Gibbs'… house." Tony answered.

"Can you sit, dear boy?"

"I think so," the SFA answered, accomplishing Ducky's request, though the room tilted and spun a little before settling.

"Tony, what happened?" Ziva asked, still wondering what this was all about. Gibbs nodded towards the photos and the note, which the Israeli hadn't noticed as she'd been focusing on the dazed and pale face of her partner. It was hard for Ziva to keep all of her emotions in herself.

"How's Tony, Ducky?" McGee opened his mouth for first time since he had seen the photos.

"I'm ok, McWorry…but I can bet that this crazy son of a bitch won't be when I catch him," the SFA hissed, rubbing the knot on his head.

"God Lord, Jethro, what is this?" Ducky's eyes widened when he stepped closer to the wall. "What kind of man would do such a thing?"

"A future corpse. I swear that son of a bitch won't live much longer."

"Dinozzo, why are you getting up." At the sound of movement behind him, Ducky turned to see a slightly wobbly but resolute Tony dragging himself to his feet. "Sit down. I don't want you to collapse again."

"Boss…"

"Sit!" Frowning, Tony reluctantly gave in by perching on the edge of a chair.

"Hey, Tony." Abby came back in hugging her friend tightly. "You better?"

"I'm fine, Abs. Where's Bobby?' the SFA wondered aloud, missing the young child who had become his short shadow.

"He said he wanted to go to the bathroom…but he should be here already..."

Only hearing the first words from Abby's sentence Tony stood and ran to the bathroom. Thousands of thoughts were rushing into his head making him feel worse, if that was even possible of course. Pushing the handle he found that the door was locked.

"Hey, Buddy, you ok?" While the SFA was waiting for an answer the others came into the corridor too. Tony didn't ask a second time before he kicked in the door. "I'll pay for it, boss."

Entering, he felt that his worse fears were coming true. The bathroom was empty, only the window on the wall was opened, and fluttering in the light breeze there was another note. Spotting the paper hanging there, Tony's heart overturned. He absently thought that he must have looked like he was going to collapse again as Gibbs hurried to grip his hand. The lead agent grabbed the note, not sure if he was prepared to read it.

"_You think that revealing your secrets to a boy can make things better, Anthony? Hahaha, you're wrong, it made it worse, for you. Now one more death will be on your conscience, you can be proud of yourself. For my pleasure, I'm giving you 48 hours to find the kid and every 5 hours I'll be doing something from those things you've done to me… Time's ticking, Very Special Agent Anthony Dinozzo." _

Each member of the team reacted differently to the words. Abby cried and buried her face in Ducky's shoulder; the ME was trying to remember the most painful death he'd ever had to deal with; Ziva couldn't help but pull back, ice fighting with fire to examine the situation without sentiment; McGee stood unsure, not able to find words or motions to express what he was feeling; Gibbs was still holding a shaking Tony, trying to process the information and create a plan of attack.

"McGee, inform the local PD of the situation. I want every street in the local area to be closed immediately and every car searched, I don't care if it's even the president's car." Registering his probie's nod and swift exit to arrange the necessary details, Gibbs shifted to guide Tony back to the living room, the others following.

"Tony… hey!" Ziva said in unusually mild tone, lifting Tony's chain. "Look at me… I promise you that we _will_ find Bobby."

"I… I'm trying to believe in the same thing too…but what if it's too late? What if that …that monster does to Bobby the same things he did to me?"

"He won't, I promise." The woman tried to convince her partner of that as much as she tried to convince herself.

"Ziva…" Tony continued with trembling voice. "…If something happens to the boy, I swear I'll take that piece of crap to hell with me… And I'm not joking, I won't allow him to hurt you too, I can't watch that. The last thing I'll hear is gonna be his voice, but the last thing he'll see is gonna be my face…"

"Dinozzo!" Gibbs head slapped him. "You're not going anywhere. The only thing I can agree with you about is that the last thing Morris will see is going to be the face of revenge. We will find Bobby and this time that son of a bitch will pay for what he has done."

Xxx

Even though the local police had searched every single vehicle in a huge area, in an hour there were no leads. Gibbs had spoken with Vance and made him allow the team to return to NCIS headquarters and start searching for Bobby from there. The lead agent had decided to use every kind of help he could find and called Fornell.

"YOU STILL HAVE NOTHING, MCGEE?" Tony yelled for the third time in half an hour.

This time some magic power helped McGee and he didn't have to answer. With "bing" the elevator doors opened and the FBI agent stepped out, holding a few tapes from the road cameras in the area around Gibbs' house. "DiNutso,_ I_ have something," he announced.

"One more time, Fornell – my name is DINOZZO. Do you want me to spell it again?" Sighing, all bluster faded away. "...What do you have?"

"There's a blue van in that tape," he handed it to McGee and the junior agent played it. A dark blue minivan was shown parked in front of Gibbs house, only a few yards away. Then after around 10 minutes the figure of a man appeared, stepping out of the vehicle.

"That's Morris." Tony hissed, wanting to punch the monitor. Even though that simple action couldn't hurt the monster who had made his life a hell, it could make the SFA feel better. Instead of punching it he kicked the recycle bin next to him. "HELL! It's all my fault!"

"Tony…" Gibbs' attempt to calm down his agent was cut off by Tony's cell phone.

"That can't be right, that's my home phone number." His eyes widened when he saw the display. "McGee, track it down…. Dinozzo." he finally answered.

"_Anthony… it's been a while…ha ha ha."_

"You son of…"

"_I know, I know. You've used those so impolite words a lot of times…Oh, by the way, you've got a great movie collection. It's such a pity that it had to burn…when you forgot and left the stove turned on. Um, Anthony, I think that there was a fire in your apartment or, more correctly, I'd say there's gonna be one, right about… now. Hahaha. Time's ticking, Anthony, half an hour is gone. Guess what'll be the first thing I'll do to your precious boy… Hahaha." _

"He hung up, boss."

Xxx

The only thing Tony could do was to run, taking the steps two at a time. All he wanted was not to stop, to run further and further. Somewhere between the third and second floor he stopped, leaned against the wall, closed his eyes and tried to escape somewhere. He knew he was losing this battle, the most important one in his entire life. A little devil's voice in his head made him put his hand on his gun, taking it out.

"_Dinozzo! What are you doing?" _he heard her voice, the voice of the woman who saved him the last time, his guardian angel.

"Go away, Kate!"

"_I can't, because of you! I'm stuck here in the middle between the Earth and heaven, because I have to take care of you."_

"I don't need a babysitter. You're free to go."

"_Really? Because it seems differently to me… What are you doing, Tony?"_

"I'm saving the world…as I've always done."

"_You're saving it from whom?"_

"From myself. No one else will be hurt because of me." The gun felt heavy in his hand, but warm and familiar; he clicked off the safety.

"_No! I think you're trying to escape… What happened with you? Anthony Dinozzo is not a coward, but a stubborn fighter… You won't help that little boy that way. Stand up, face that crap and beat him at his own game! That's what you've always done best, you can do it one more time. Do it for me, you still owe me a favor."_

"For what?"

"_For staying with you while having the plague… Go, Tony. You deserve a 'happily ever after'."_

"Kate…" he mumbled, still sitting there. "…I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"_It's my turn to ask you for what."_

"I couldn't save you… I… I didn't get the chance to say you that you _are _a great friend. Moreover, you were like a sister to me."

"_It wasn't your fault, nor Gibb's…Now, go Dinozzo. I don't want to be stuck here any longer. You may not believe it but it's quite interesting in heaven…" She paused and looked at him meaningfully. "And it's not your time yet."_

After a few more seconds sitting on the cold floor, Tony decided to listen to Kate's words and abruptly flicked the safety back on his weapon and rammed it back in its holster. Real or not, his angel was inspiring him to fight, to face the monster that was making his life a hell, and maybe the demons within as well.

Xxx

It's been around 15 minutes since Tony had hung up the phone and ran without saying a word. The moment Gibbs made the first step in an attempt to follow his agent, Ducky stopped him, insisting Jethro leave the younger man alone. Now, almost a quarter hour later, Gibbs was loosing what was left of his patience.

"Duck, I'm going after Dinozzo."

The next second he heard footsteps coming from the stairwell, then Dinozzo's voice.

"I'm ok, boss. Just needed some time… and had to call the fire department."

"What! Are you sure you're okay, Tony?"

"No… But it doesn't matter…" The watch on Tony's wrist beeped indicating that one more hour had gone.

"God, we have to hurry… Boss, where's Probie?" the SFA asked when he noticed McGee's absence.

"Down with Abby, trying to track down the minivan."

"I'm going down. Can't just stand here without doing anything."

Grabbing his badge, Tony strode back towards the elevator but was momentarily distracted by the huge luminous moon that seemed to grin at him through the windows that covered one side of the bullpen. In that short moment, while the SFA was lit by silvery brilliance, the concern and his pale face were more visible than ever. His tired green eyes, the absence of his wide smile, of the careless voice which was normal during the day, all these were indications of how much he cared, liked and even loved Bobby. He stayed there, still, until the moonlight disappeared behind churning clouds as suddenly as it had come. Jolting himself back, Tony knew that the clock was ticking and entered the elevator following his team who were waiting there.

Xxx

Down in Abby's lab, McGee and the goth were trying to find where Morris had gone by using all observational cameras in the city. They were working in a strange, utter silence that revealed their determination to help both their friend and the little boy who had found a place in their hearts. Finally, there was only one camera left; Morris' location was almost known. McGee took his phone, ready to press the speed-dial button to call his boss when the door opened and he, Tony and Ziva entered. Ducky had insisted on going to his autopsy room to check something and to inform Mr. Palmer.

"You did it again!" Abby jumped from her chair and faced Gibbs.

"I did what?" he asked confused, handing his lab rat a Caff–Pow.

"You knew when to come! Face it boss-man – you're a telepath. McGee was about to call you when you entered. There's no such thing as coincidence, you always say that."

"Ok, I'll be whatever you want if you have some good news."

"Actually, boss…" McGee decided it was about time he stopped their sweet conversation. "…I think we have just located that piece of crap."

"Let's go then. Where is he?" Tony insisted, impatient.

"Oh… Uh… the same warehouse we found you in."

Tony could feel the blood drain from his face. "Hell, I should have known. Let's go!" He'd barely taken three steps when his phone rang again, stopping him in his tracks. Pulling out his cell with careful hands he looked at the screen hating that he knew what he'd see there - an unknown number once more. This time, he was well aware who would be on the other side. "McGee, track it," he ordered, before answering.

"What do you want this time? I don't have any other possessions left to be destroyed."

"_You still have a car. But that's not what I'm calling about."_

"I don't have time for your games. Talk!"

"_As you already know where I am, I don't have a choice except for negotiating directly with you. Come here, alone, and I'll let the boy go."_

"Or I'm coming with backup, shoot you in your head and then we all are happy."

"_Or, agent Dinozzo, this sweet kid here goes through his worst nightmare, then I shoot him in the head and all that happens before your arrival. After all, not everyone will be happy, what do you think? Hahaha" _

"What do you want me to do?"

"_Be here in an hour, without a gun, without backup. Only you and me."_ Morris hung up, leaving Tony standing there, holding his phone with trembling hands, three pairs of eyes staring at him.

Xxx

"Tony… please, don't go." Abby was pleading one more time while putting a tiny microphone in his ear. "Hell, at least you should take your knife with you."

"No, Abs." the agent answered quietly, giving the goth a hug and a kiss on her forehead.

"WHAT ABOUT A PAPER – CLIP?" she yelled, watching as her friend and Gibbs left. Tony only waved, the elevator doors slid open and they went in, leaving Abby in her lab, alone. "Kate…wherever you are, please, keep him safe." she whispered, squeezing Bart who farted.

Xxx

Almost an hour later Gibbs stopped the car two blocks from the warehouse. He'd refused to let Tony go there alone, even though there would be help stationed close by. Both agents were sitting there, in silence, listening to the storm raging outside the car. The black sky and bursts of thunder were making that horrible night even more menacing and dark. A lightning bolt gave a sign that it was time for Tony to go.

"Tony… there are plenty of people who love you, remember that." That was all Gibbs managed to say, but his mild tone was saying more than the words. "We'll be there to help when you need us. I promise."

"Always, boss and… thanks, I know."

Unwillingly, Tony had walked the two blocks and was standing in front of the place where his agony had begun. His whole body was shaking, his legs refusing to move forward, but his heart was telling him otherwise. He pushed the door open and stepped in eyes tracking to every corner of the large shadowed area. Every thing, every smell, all were reminders to the agent of his personal hell.

"It's good to see you again, Anthony." A shape loomed out from where it had blended against a wall to step out into the dim light of a dirty window. Morris laughed, pointing his gun at Tony

"Sorry, can't say the same thing… Where's Bobby?"

Morris just smiled wider and moved left, revealing the sight of a very scared, bruised, little boy, arms stretched above his head, tied to a pipe, his young green eyes pleading for mercy. Tony clenched his fists, trying hard not to punch the other man in the face. "I kept my part of the deal, now it's your turn, let him go!"

"Well, Anthony, see, things have changed since our last talk. Can you imagine, I decided not to let that little angel here go yet… Now, please, give me the tiny microphone that is in your ear." The triumph in Morris' voice was filling up the room. He knew very well that while he had the boy tied he could make Tony do anything, torture him.

"BOBBY IS INNOCENT, LET HIM GO!"

"So was I, but you and your friends didn't let me go, did you?" Morris wasn't trying to hold back his anger anymore. He hit the agent with the butt of his gun and then stomped down on the microphone.

White hot agony had exploded in Tony's head at the blow and he barely felt it as he collapsed on the floor. The rough concrete scraped his face as he shifted, fighting the darkness creeping into the edges of his vision, and hauled himself back up to his feet and stood on the right side of the speechless Bobby. "Hey, everything's gonna be ok I promise you. Do you trust me?"

"Yes," the boy answered with trembling voice.

"HEY, LITTLE ONE, DO YOU WANT A CUP OF WATER?" Morris asked ironically, making Tony freeze. He knew what his captor was trying to do, knew that he had to stay strong for the boy next to him, but a part of Tony wanted to escape somewhere deep inside.

"N… no, I'm not thirsty," the kid answered, even though he could kill for a sip of that liquid.

"Well, well, Anthony, it seems that your precious charge has stronger willpower than you… but that won't save him from what I did to you."

"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HIM!"

"I'm the one who gives orders here, not you! Hahaha…" Morris stepped closer to Bobby who stood stock still, body trembling, as his eyes stuttered between his captor and would-be savior. Snake quick Morris then hit Tony one more time, staggering him, and then cruelly pressed his injured arm so that the agent snarled and hissed with pain but stood frozen. "Do you want a wonderful tattoo?" the deranged man asked the kid, grabbing him by his arm.

"Please…" The scared, pleading voice echoed over and over again while Morris made a show of taking out his sharp knife.

Tony desperately wanted to do something, but his entire body refused to move. He could see the tears in those little green eyes, could hear his screams… "I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, JUST DON'T HURT HIM." He finally managed to open his mouth. Morris put the knife back in his pocket and smiled.

"Tell me something, Anthony…" he slammed the agent with his fist, snapping his head back and knocking him down. "…why are you ready to sacrifice your life for that kid? Do you really love him so much? Hell, you've know him since… uh… two days."

"Yes!" Tony confirmed, forcing himself to sit up, spitting blood out of his mouth. "He doesn't deserve this. I will do anything for him, anything!" His hands shifted in the dirt, hidden by his body they sifted through the scattered debris until his fingertips were sliced by a hard, slick object. He curled his fingers and palm securely around it, ignoring the warmth that started to drip to the ground, just shoving that pain away with all the others.

All that Morris wanted to hear had been said. Triumph could be seen in his cold, empty eyes. He took out the knife one more time, stepping closer to Bobby, then pressed the edge against his throat, hard enough to draw a terrified whimper from the boy and make a drop of blood trickle down; ready to make one final movement.

"Well, Anthony, it's time to destroy you entirely. Say goodbye to your little friend…"

No one knew where Tony found the power to stand up from. In a second, he was on Morris, tackling him away from the petrified child, and stabbing him with the jagged shard of glass. Morris roared in surprise and agony, his fingers tightening on the gun in his other hand, the report barely registering as it was ripped away. His other arm with the knife was being held down but he punched every free area of his enemy, angry maniacal laughter ripping out at every grunt and shudder his blows caused. He would pay, Anthony would pay, if it was the last thing he did…

Tony didn't even know where on the monster's body he hit, just kept pressing his weapon down, feeling it grate against bone. Every hit from Morris' ham-sized fist sent an electric shock of pain through him, but he used his body weight and every ounce of strength he had left to keep the man down until the he finally shuddered and twitched no more. Breathing hard he managed to climb to his feet, a thought skittered across his brain that it was odd that he suddenly couldn't feel much of his body anymore. Swiping a hand at the blood coating his clothes, he took one step away from the dead body towards Bobby when he started to slump down, suddenly feeling that all his energy was gone before he collapsed. Bobby's screams were dim echoes in his ears as his thoughts faded away, thinking that Gibbs would be here soon… he'd promised…

xxx

It was a beautiful Monday morning. There were no signs left of the awful weather and huge storm from the previous day and a half. The air had been swept clear so now the blue sky and shiny sun now were like a timeline, indicating a change to a better direction.

Special agent Anthony Dinozzo opened his eyes slowly, firstly not focusing the world around him very well. Then, when the dimness was gone he saw them all – Bobby, Gibbs, Ziva, McGee, Ducky, Abby and even Palmer, his whole big family. He blinked twice, still being silent, but becoming more aware of where he was. Tony was lying on a hospital bed, all his friends were standing around him, smiling.

"Hey, look who is finally awake." Ziva was first to notice that Tony had opened his eyes.

"Anthony, how are you feeling my boy?" Ducky asked, taking a few steps forward and perching on the edge of the bed.

"What… what happened?" the SFA was now fully conscious but he couldn't seem to get his thoughts together.

"You saved me…thanks." Tony heard a little, sincere voice then felt Bobby's hands around him. The tight hug meant more than every word.

"Well, Dinozzo…" Gibbs began answering the question. "…after your wire went dead we started to move in and entered the warehouse just in time to see you collapse and your little buddy here was very concerned for you. You were so weak and exhausted that you only managed to say that it was over, something I became well aware of the moment I saw Morris – he's dead Tony, you got him. Doctors patched you up a little and you've slept… well… for a day."

Tony felt a tidal wave of relief that the bastard who'd put them all – and particularly Bobby - through hell was gone. He searched the little boy's face and was relieved that, other than a little bruising, he looked fine. "Wow…that means it's Monday now." Tony exclaimed not believing his ears, trying to sit up. Because of that sudden movement he felt a sharp pain coming from his shoulder and hand, and several other twinges also made themselves known. The agent hadn't noticed the bandages. "What time is it?"

"10.30 am." All heads turned to see the person who was standing at the door - a middle aged, smiling woman. She stepped in and handed Gibbs a cup of coffee.

"Hey, Dinozzo, I heard that you beat the person who took Bobby." The woman from social services said – Janine, he remembered her name was Janine.

"They say so." Tony grinned. He'd have to take their word for it because other than quick flashes of a big dark room and echoes of feelings of fear, pain and the need to protect there was nothing. Maybe it was better that way.

"Tony's the bravest man in the world, he's like Superman!" Bobby exclaimed making everyone smile.

"Hey, I'm becoming jealous," Gibbs teased, messing the kid's hair.

"Can I talk with this sick man in private for a little?" Janine insisted. After everybody was out she closed the door and sat on Tony's bed. "Really, Tony, I'm glad it's over. You're a great man and didn't deserve that."

"Thanks… Now, will you finally tell me what this is all about."

"Impatient as always… Ok, as you know, Bobby has no one he could live with, so social services have to take care of him. But… I think he is a pretty nice, smart, cute boy who does not deserve to grow up that way…" Her sentence was cut off by the opening of the door. Bobby had insisted on going to the bathroom but instead had gone back to Tony's room.

"Hey kiddo, where are the others?"

"Outside… they, uh, think I'm in the toilet. Tony, I just want to thank you, you're a great person. When I grow up I want to be just like you." The boy hugged Tony again.

What was that strange feeling inside, the agent didn't know. It was neither just simple sympathy, nor only responsibility, it was something more powerful, something that could only be named as "fatherly love".

"Bobby, come, sit." Tony helped him to hop up and sit near him. "I'd like to ask you something…you don't have to answer immediately, or you don't have to say yes at all…Would you, hmm, would you like to live with me? If that's possible…" he looked at Janine.

"Well, it can be," she admitted. "You have a well paid job, a lot of good friends, or a family would be a more suitable word. If you visit your psychiatrist regularly until he says that it's not necessary anymore, there's no reason why not. I can get the paperwork started and Bobby could stay with you in the meantime."

"Oh… one more thing, I, uh, don't have anywhere to live right now. Morris destroyed my apartment…"

"Well, Dinozzo, I wouldn't worry about that. You can stay in my house," Gibbs announced, stepping into the room. He had heard all the conversation and decided to enter and support his son. "Bobby, what do you think?"

After a second of stillness Bobby's face cheered up and grinned with the widest smile ever seen. "And you'll show me how to build a boat?" he asked.

"Oh… that depends on the boss. He promised me that if I touch his boat again, I'll be doing all the paperwork for a month. And believe me, it's not pleasant, all that paper…sucks," Tony grimaced in disgust.

"No problem… I'm still coming."

This time, Tony hugged the little kid, who giggled. "Boss, you're going to be a grandfather!"

Xxx

"_Good job Tony. I'm proud of you," Kate smiled and then disappeared._

**The end**

**xxx**

**Please, review and let me know if you like the final :)**


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